FI

Further Instructions, my friends!

we came, we saw, we lol'd

Description
'Further Instructions' is a gathering place of TV.com rejects (castaways) to talk about Lost Heroes and other bullshit, mostly bullshit though...lol!

Creation
Paul2k4 of Tv.com, a CNet site, was frustrated when several of his friends on there were banned. Soon, he was suspended from Tv.com, which led to the creation of his InvisionFree Zeta board, Further Instructions.

DID YOU KNO??

 * 'FI' does not actually stand for 'Further Instructions' as is commonly assumed. It actually stands for 'Further Idiots'.


 * Everybody on FI is from California. And they all go jogging in coats.


 * You're only welcome on FI if you're joaking 100% of the time. If you're EVER caught being srs under any circumstances, you're a butt-fucking retard that doesn't belong.


 * Almost everyone on FI leaves FOREVA at least once. However, forever usually lasts about a day or two on FI.

=Users=



The following people are the absolute scum of the planet. FI was created to keep them all off the streets and out of society so they only do harm to each other. None of them (with the exception of Dutchiee) have any sort of life outside the internet. These are their stories...

DoctorYoda
DoctorYoda was the most popular member on TV.com (except for 80677) and had a fanbase numbering the thousands. Then he got bant, and decided to recruit everybody to FI. They all did so because YODER is so kewl. Then everybody realised that he was some kid with a dumb haircut (lol, it looks like a mushroom) and not the jedi knight he claimed. Mostly Dutchiee.

This caused him to get defensive about everything and a huge war broke out which ended in a literal divide in the site. No1 invited Yoder because no1 carez about Yoder. After the war ended people returned but still maintained their lack of interest. To raise his self-esteem he rig'd the FI: BBPE to look like he was the site favourite. Everybody knew that this was a load of crap but they let him have his moment because they knew he wouldn't have any more.

Dock suffers from a case of trying too hard, as seen with The Chronicles of Geraldpringle.

Russ_Who_Ross
A.k.a. the MAN OF COOKEEZ, he is a British southern ponce who believes himself to be God's gift to the universe, and blames his shortcomings on RIG. This could not be further from the truth, as russ is in reality a retard. He does some politics thing even though no1 carez about politics, or pretty much russ_who_ross in general. According to gbvfan, Russ LOVES penises!

As a nobody on TV.com who still complained about the stupidity there, russ showed up at FI and announced that he was becoming the new king. After he realised nobody was listening he settled down into a posting regime consisting mostly of the word LOL and began spawning memes.

Unfortunately most of the memes weren't actually his own work, and his own memes are pretty garyface'd by everyone. But everybody humours him. Like...he'll come on and say "Hai guyz am I great or what? AM I?" and everybody smiles and says "heh yeah". Awkwardness follows. Russ has recently become disillusioned with the show, which caused MOS to short-circuit. The Californian has not been the same since.

Roos' latest pursuit has been raping this wiki into submission with plotlines from his fan-fiction, which is currently read by no 1.

Reading this article has made Russ EMO.

NO FURTHER CITATIONS NEEDED.

Russ has now gone BONKAZ. He made a theroy, bsrj made a comment saying it was stupid, and russ freaked out. Russ deleted the thread, was has be'd mod'd, and says he will only discuss lost now. Thus killing FI completely. He has since then returned to the forum, now disillusioned with people IRL. I gave him a week.

RECENTLY LEFT the forum and the internets once again. Has been replaced by the newly crowned BRIAN PEPPERS.

CurtisLost23
FI's Ginger, Ladeez man, and rabid Charlie FANBOI. Curtis is often brimming with new ideas for the site, but many of them are quite silly! Despite being a n00b and an unknown at tv.com, to everyone's amazement Curtis placed 4th in the FI: Elimination Game, although this shouldn't come as a surprise as it was his game and was clearly RIG'd. He sometimes explodes with GINGER ANGER, but for the most part is quite the silly goose! In his spare time, Curtis enjoys copying pages from Lostpedia. He is a GINGER and is the owner of an ESCORT SERVICE:

AVAILABLE WIMMINZ
He has a lot of sisters, lol

Curtis recently beat out all competition in FI's first mod elections. Since MOS was on hiatus, Curtis was made admin instead

Late 2009 was a pretty dark time for young Curtis, for his college roomate Steven discovered FI's existence and preceded to sign up on the site to try to make his life hell. It worked! Curtis eventually learned to live with it seeing as ASPEN seems to be here to stay. The two happy guys even made sum super cool blogs!

Burtis
Burtis is a pale, lanky, skinny, awkward, freckled ginger. He's like Curtis in every way except for one (pictured). He's Curtis' number one enemy, except for Durtis and Kurt. Oh and Steve of course.

Durtis


Discovered on Kensal, Durtis' real name is Curtis Page. He was meme'd for being fat and ugly and being named Curtis Page. One day on Skype the real Curtis mentioned a Curtis Page he drunkenly friend requested on facebook months back. After joaking about it being the Kensal Curtis Page, Curtis checked and oddly enough, it was! Hilarity ensued.

Wuote Durtis: had a blast ready for a nother liquid cocaine its a shot its dlish

Wuote Facebook:

Curtis Page is in a relationship

Curtis Page is loveing life right now yall dont even know

-2 hours later-

Curtis is no longer listed as "in a relationship."

Curtis Page FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKK MMMMMMMYYYYY FFFFFUUUUUCCCCCKKKKKIIIINNNNNGGGGGG LLLLIIIIIIIIFFFFFFEEEEEEE why cant i ever be happy

Curtis Page REALLY WANTS TO DIE NOW

BREAKING NEWS: He is now ENGAGED. OH LAWD!

ff_zero
Good guy, and probably one of the only members who hasn't been involved in any major dramaz during his/her time on FI. Boosts post count by spamming with 's. Took a long hiatus but returned this year and became elite'd. Recently got fired from his job due to that fact that he spent all day looking up entertainment news for FI instead of actually working. He now has way too much time on his hands.

Apparently he is a ginger.  God help us all.

After beating out all competition in FI: Apprentice, ff was made mod. He introduced kul new coding stuff to the site, but the admin staff was too lazy to set it all up so they just made ff an admin instead.

Paulus2
Paulus2 is a Briddish alcoholic hobo with no real career prospects or a future (this is troo lol). As a result of this he joined TV.com in a bid to make friends, not realising that people on the internets aren't real people. He managed to turn the entire community against the site and incite a revolution to FI which he built.

Well actually, it was Yoder who invited people because nobody really cared about Paul2k4. On joining their first post is usually "is this Yoder's 4um" and after realising some fag is in charge they leave without ever posting. He generally believes himself to be god and often in a drunken state will rant about how he can make it ALL GO AWAY.

In a bid to appear more interesting he pretends to time travel

on occasion and makes 1000s of accounts. This just makes everybody Jack-palm and wish that they could overthrow this moron once and for all. The many revolution attempts failed however, mostly because everybody has more of a life than Paul does.

Paul is known for being extremely critical of others while blind to his own complete and utter, constant fail. He often talks about how FI is his best site EVAR and then before long veers off to complain about the member base in general LOL. I guess that means his best site EVAR SUX DIX. In the past he has criticised others for their chosen educational paths which is funny because at university he takes a course in playing video games, lol. Wut a tard. We all await anxiously the moment when he steps down as co-admin, sometime in the Autumn when he begins the 'work experience' year of his sandwich course, so called because with his 2:2 in computer games he will most likely end up making sandwiches for people who took actual academic courses. Paulus has delusions of grandeur that he will be the next Shigeru Miyamoto when in reality he will be the next dead frozen hobo.

Everything is a JOAK to Paul unless he says otherwise.Hobbies: Doling out MOD positions in return for sexual favors, cheating at Tetris.

According to inside sources, Paul is set to step down from ADMIN for the MUNDAI'th time. Vegas is now taking bets on when he will need to feel needed again and usurp the kingdom from fagtard bitch.

Paulus recently turned the FROZEN HONKEY WHEEL and subsequently can never return to being internets god. He is a regular member and as such spends many evenings in cold regret, crying into his pillow. It is expected that thirty years from now he will be stumbling around dark bars muttering about how he had it all once.

One of the many victims of the FI purge of early '09, but has since come back.

Krkv6
Krkv6 used to be a speaker. Due to some kind of exposure to radioactive PMS he became a forum poster. He was the third person to join FI (robman doesn't count, LOL) and used the lack of initial activity to have secks with Dutchiee. Eventually he got a sex change and became Linder.

Linder used to be a mod but russ slowly annoyed her to the point where the two had some kind of epic lovers' tiff and he stole her mod badge.


 * RECONSTRUCTED WUOTE:

krkv6: RUSS IS AN ATHEIST FAMANATACIST

russ_who_ross: ... wut?

krkv6: Don't even start with me Russ

russ_who_ross: GET HIT BY A TRAIN


 * Moar about Lin-duh

She has left the site due to dramaz a grand total of 687 times, but she normally comes back only to leave again the following week. This article in itself will cause another exodus.

She claims to be about 147, and assumes that everybody under the age of 60 is a kid which is pretty much the whole forum.

Dead since the mysterious FI purge of early '09.

MrDutchiee
MrDutchiee was the first member to join FI and also the first co-admin. He is Australian which means his keyboard is upside-down. As a result he types like he is wearing a pair of boxing gloves (EX: Dutchiee: i saw ur one. it was weirs dtart. u wer elike singing). As a result of this conversation is difficult but nontheless possible by simply ignoring him altogether (replying with the occasional "yeah" helps).

He got banned from TV.com, joined FI and was the only person posting for a month. He enjoyed discussing the show with himself and then one day loads of people showed up and he made himself a little family. However an epic war broke out between him and the evil Doc and ack. As a result of that he founded a forum called candyland (he misspelled it as Black Rock. What a nub) where people could discuss how much they loved lollipops and popcorn.

UPDATE: lol the site no longer exists, apparently dutchiee cbf'd it

He gave up on that and has since lurked in the shadows on FI, muttering revenge against Porl, who singlehandedly destroyed candyland. He claims his lack of activity is due to a social life. This is a lie, there are no real people in Australia. Though it must be noted that in Australia throwing bent sticks while wearing hats with corks (lol, wtf is up with those?) is considered a legitimate social activity.

Dutchiee never changes his facial expression. EVA.


 * WUOTE: willy enjoys pussy u punce

Dead since the mysterious FI purge of early '09. Or possibly he didn't log on for some time before that, no1 was paying attention.

Ackermaniv (aka acker whacker)
Son of the jazz-funk infused indie artist ackermaniii, ackermaniv was once a prominent member of the TV.com LOST forums. However general angst caused him to pick a fight with anybody smaller than he was (which is pretty much everyone, LOL) and the mods smacked him into the backwaters of the internet with their ban-maces. Forced into exile, Ack started over-eating and extended his angst to a blog about how everybody hated him.

He eventually crawled out of the internet and wound his way on to furtherinstructions where he pretty much split the site in half, caused a mass exodus, ended a mass exodus and became something of an icon. He was even the first member to have a white name which fits in well with his ideas of racial purity. He likes lower-case letters, and as such is more commonly known as ackermaniv. This annoys MoonOfSkiing118 which often causes the two to have dramatic lovers' tiffs, of which MOS loses everytime on account of him being a pussy. Left FI FOREVER like 5 times. Has recently shown the ability to shapeshift. Taking the form of several other members and sullying their good names.

Ack is total asshole, and will never be forgiven for that. He's just a self-centered, careless dick. He makes MOS extremely angry and upset and inconvenienced.

Went BATSHIT INSANE in the mid summer of '07.



Ack's Body Mass Index is reportedly "rofl"

Enjoys repeatedly fucking with someones life by pretending to have sent a link to FI to his girlfriend via facebook, which caused SAID PERSON to panic.

Likes: swoonlust, BOADIE BROADUS' tooth squirts, gossiping with Lostifyed and sometimes Lost. He also likes Mikes. wutafag.

Dislikes: The human race, the memberbase, TV.com, Catch_22, every forum in existence, stupid people (see the human race), smart people, ShokoLove.

ACCOUNT DELETION DRAMAZ
Once upon a time, ack revealed to the forum that he actually likes drinking Mike's Hard Lemonade. Russ and paco set about on a vitriolic campaign of lulz against him and his poof drinks. After one particularly snide remark in the c-box, ack banned Milpool, who then long con'd Paulus into giving him temporary admin CP. Milpool set about immediately, permanently and lulzily deleting ackerman's account. Other board members didn't find it so lulzy however and Russ was slightly reprimanded. Moments later, everyone remembered that ack is basically a fagtard anyway and decided to take Russ's side even though he was clearly in the wrong.


 * WUOTES:Paulus: It's not my war ... (and then he gave Russ admin CP, wtf?)

Paulus: Oh boo fucking hoo, emo kid got his PRECIOUS POST COUNT ERASED.

Like all joaks, this was funnier when repeated

Mere moons had past when Russ foresaw an opportunity to once again delete ack from FI, and he took the opportunity to do so. Paul was much less impressed this time around, which caused Russpool to go batshit bonkaz and get perma-banned. However this was all just a long-con against all of FI and specifically ack, who had already made up a long-con with Russ to get himself banned again as he thought he wouldn't have internet access while on holiday but then he did which somewhat ruined the larger long-con and then Paulus decided to back out of it because he's a pussy and we all joak'd and lol'd and partied down and it was just like diddy kong.


 * WUOTE: i took the most painful shit in the world yesterday. i felt like i got bumfukked

ickermanav finds the following funny:

-originally posted by Roos, deleted by someone else-

oh nvm, so much for that!

Swoonlust
Pretty much the only member of the site to be globally sucked up to. sunlust joined after the decline of TV.com even though he was never a part of the real community there. Regardless, he established his position on the FI throne and through intricate posts he became globally loved.



The truth is that his posts are full of lots of big words, and nobody understands what he's saying ever. But they assume that with that many big words his posts must all be awesome and so he must in turn be awesome. It saves them the trouble of looking them up and looking like morons. He actually spends ten minutes per second reading a thesaurus in a bid to keep up the pretense. Spelling 'pretence' correctly is also pretentious.

Sunlust is probably a bot. This is the most logical reason for the wordy posts and the fact that he never appears to sleep.

Made in China© and spends his Saturdays donning the protective poo crown to collide headfirst into bins of Nestle Crunch. Enjoys SMOAKS AND JOAKS especially WHILE DRIVING.


 * WUOTE Sunlust: *syncopes*

Leah


Tired of being moderator at tv.com, Leah decided to join FI. Considered one of the friendliest members, Leah is also one of the bigger, more obsessive LOST fans on Further Instructions. Dropped out of high school to stalk B list celebrities and study TAXIDERMY. Writer of fan-fic 'LOST Restriction'She's into fat guys. Watch out ack.

Pretends to be King Kong. (See picture.)

Opened up a chain of stores called "Leahcakes" in the early 80's, but it was closed down due to the amount of fingers found in the frosting.


 * WUOTE: "Hey, I'd like to find my finger in her frosting! Woo yah!" - ackermaniv being subtle.

Nowadays, LeahCrash spends most of her time on FI drunk off her ass, missing her boyfriend with her only pal, Jack Daniels.

Malion


The man of 1000 identical faces. Malion (a.k.a. Ilam, Alvin, Mac, Mal, Ion, Moth, Deku, tire-iron brandishing sunlust, and Aaron Littleton of LOST KIDS fame) was one of the later members to join FI. He is known for promoting silence and has been known to clear entire conversations with a single post. He generally has no life and aspires to making himself the ultimate meme, and tries to get his words into the mainstream as much as possible. Using second rate fanfiction and his semi-bi-quarter-weekly podcast extravaganza, called "The Broceanic Jipped"

Put simply, the man is clinically insane. There is no record of him adding to any discussion, as most posts of his are completely off topic. The silence doesn't mean it's working. The silence means no1 carez.

He is simultaneously the poor man's russ, swoonlust, Von Paulus, Krkv6, MrDutchiee, ackermaniv, Lord_Taboo, Lostifyed, Malion, DoctorAwesome, athevolunteer, and Jesus.

Recently, Mal finally snapped and went bat-shit insane. He hijacked the c-box and kept it for himself. However, since Mal isn't very bright, he named the password after his girlfriend and underestimated the amount of time DoctorYoda has on his hands. Dock guessed the password and took the C-box back. Since Mal's plan failed, the whole thing was just a joke! We all believe you Mal :)

Mal has recently become a /b/tard much to the surprise of fucking nobody as it's totally in keeping with his pedophilic tendencies, lack of funneez and other epic fail. His main motivation on /b/ is to create the next big internet meme and is a shameless self-promoter of any number of very unfunny joaks. Got an article on ED and now believes he is associating with a better class of people. Good for you Mal! May you find your internet dream!

CRTMN0463


Born Alec Bollig, and self-proclaimed hairiest man alive, after being abandoned by TWO fathers, CRTMN now lives with a pack of gorrilas, the youngest of which has sexual fetishes for toilet plungers. CRTMN, himself, possesses an unhealthy fetish for South Park. After being a n00b at TV.com, CRTMN quickly rose through the ranks to gain MOD status at FI (Long story short, CRTMN left FI to join BLACK COCK, and to lure him back to FI, Paul promoted him, and was reciprocated with a rusty trombone). A seemingly wonderful accomplishment, his new position has cursed him with a SKATE-like plunge into EMO-ness and he no longer carez about LYF. THANKFULLY, he has maintained his 'dignity' and refuses to drink or talk to girls. Gets very excited about Three Dog Night songs and wub fights! As of late, DETECTIVE CRTMN splooges at the thought of his WII. WUOTE BOLLIG: "I wish I could stick it in my Wii.."

His uncle ernie calls him the Tickle Monster.

Frosted Bollig, lol

Has recently inexplicably turned into oyster_boy. Killed (lol or maybe just muted) during the unexplained FI Purge of '09.

Has MORE recently come back!   Yet another instance of the unexplained FI de-purge of '09.

pacojonezl40
Mexican lottery winner who joined FI through our Affirmative Action transfer programme. Basically we're fine with ethnic minorities, as long as they're rich. (This is why ShokoLove had to go.) Apparently he also has some Smerf fetish.

D R I N K S  

B E E R.   

G O O D 

F O R 

H I M !

Oh wait, no he doesn't.

After making some hilarious Mike's Hard Lemonade joaks about Ack, Paco is now buddy buddy with Russ. Many have speculated that their infamous man bond moments are actually pretty homosexual, and that the two may be moar than just friends? Others have speculated that the previous speculators simply have dicks on the brain. Hmm... but hey, there's no problem with guy love fellas! :toasts:WUOTE: ack rox teh cox and so do i!

On the verge of da FI purge due to kids.

tribalchic
One of the few relatively normal posters, liked by everyone. Occasionally snaps.

Recently discovered to be a man.

Joss Whedon fanboi (?)

On the run from Youtube and Omish people.

...lol!

robman46
Also known as Bobby Fail, Mr R J Unwin (REAL NAME) quickly realised his services were not needed and returned to work at the Chicken factory. robman cannot understand why everyone on FI has such an obsession with perfect grammar while he has never really been that borthered!

Is in actuality a very brillant poster. Writes he's virtual seasons well.

'''WUOTES: ''' I would of never guessed Carter. Anyway i'm name is Robert

i didn't borther with the drums as I had no where to put them

I love that film, brillant action action thriller

It is a great great, from what I heard sims 3 doesn't seem the much different.

lol i did ooo a little a bit

I never knew Brain Peppers was a real person, I thought russ just went completely mental this time

i'm a big tarantino film.

Also inspired the creation of the Temple.

Film Cricket
Robman is a brillant film cricket. He spends much of he's time on FI writing in-depth review films his seen.

Blood Diamond - ''angry: it was rubbish. What really pisses me of was, I forgot to bring it back to blockbuster in time, so I had to pay an extra fee for a film which was terrible''

I Forget What Movie This Was - ''did you catch it on bbc1 last night? I loved the scene where the bloke had a bomb up his ass''



LOTR - i never seen any of peter jackson's earlier films, but I couldn't stand lord of rings, about 10 hours I'll never get back.

King Kong - alright, but the dragged on for years.

8 Mile - i still can't understand how it became such a good film

United 93 - ''None of the 9/11 films I saw were good, personly i found it way to early to make a film about 9/11, there were too many of them comming ouut at the same time, and it was just an easy way to make money over a horrible thing like that. The films just bored me. ''

The Simpsons Movie - yea i just saw it today, it did have some pretty funny lines, and i was surprised when we saw bart's thing, but it did not live up to the hype

Little Nicky - nothing great, but it keeps me enterained

Resident Evil: Apacalypse - terrible acting and stuiped ideas, and bad special effects, but it kept me entertained

Superbad - ''brillant! One of the best comedy i have seen in years. The period stain joke was so funny''

Hostel 2 - pretty good sequal, however it just turned into pure comedy gold at the end

I Am Legend - ''very good actually, I was entertained all the way through, much scarier than expected. However not intressted in watching it again''

Cloverfield - pretty dam good

Saw - trying to get through the trilogy again as i'm gonna buy saw 4 soon.Notice the actor who plays Miles was in it as well as the actor who plays ben

Planet Terror - Lol it was pretty dam good, but I didn't enjoy death proof better.

Sweeny Todd - ''brillant, 100% expected it what I thought it would be like. Had a great twist in the end and some great dark humour. Only a little dissapointed with the music, not as exciting as something like nightmare before xmas.''

The Incredible Hulk - ''it started off good by not going into detail how he became hulk, but more about he was on the run from the goverment, but after that it was boring. Wasn't much fight scenes as hoped, the enemy was boring as hell, I just lost intrest. However it a lot better than the last version, which I gave up on.But the last few minutes sparked my intrest when iron man appeared.... ''

Get Smart - reused a lot of jokes from old films and felt like nothing orignal, however it still beat my expectations 

Hellboy 2 - ''fanstatic, one of the best films I had seen in ages. Great mix of fantasy, comedy and action. Loved it ''

Slumdog Millionaire -

Horror Remakes - ''Why is there such a need to re-make all the old horror classics. None of these remakes have been any good in my opinon (apart from texas chainsaw remake, which I really did enjoy however)''

Bolt - ''brillant, I don't remember laughing so hard in a cinemare before. The best disney film I would say since Aladdin (apart from the pixar films). It had a slow start, but once the hamster came into it, it was great. ''

Changeling - pretty good, dragged on for a bit at then end 

Knowing - really was a great a film until that utter shite ending.

Monsters vs Aliens - very dissapointing, I was hoping for it to be as funny as Bolt but I only got a few laughs from the charchter Bob 

Stepbrothers - i just love that film

Fast and Furious - wot a load of crap 

Taken - I love that film, brillant action action thriller

Sommers Town - great little film 

The Boat That Rocked - could have the best soundtrack ever 8/10

The Wicker Man - The brillant british horror classic

Star Trek - ''it was really was a great film, like LOST, it has a great mix of everything, sci-fi, comedy, action, romance. Recommend it to everyone here ''

Angels And Demons - ''some good scenes with Hanks however overal pretty shit. ''

Zach And Miri - That film was alright, had a few good laughs.

28 Weeks Later - I gave up with the sequal, I think I gave up to quickly though,

Quarantine - ''Saw the US version of quarantine, just useless, they might as well just dubbed the orignal version, it was no difference between the films. ''

Sex Drive - now the was brillant 

Terminator Salvation - ''it was great. I thought it was going to be shit as first, but i was surprised by how good it was.''

Clerks - the brilliant clerks

Transformers 2 - I agree the film was terrible, I think one of the main problems was that I didn't give a shit about the robots all the way through, I didn't care what happened to them.

Final Destination - teen horror at its best

Drag Me To Hell - ''it really was a fun enjoyable film. It wouldn't of been better though if my mate didn't run off half way through''

Pinocchio - I forgot how much I loved the music in this film

Terminator - ''it was great. I thought it was going to be shit as first, but i was surprised by how good it was.''

Sweeney Todd - is one of the best films ever

Harry Potter 6 - ''it was very good like all the others. It wasn't the best though, the story felt all over the place, and certain people were very under used''

Public Enemies - ''pretty poor. It just seemed to go on and on. However depp was pretty good and bale managed to do a different accent for once''

Inglorious Basterds - ''it was pretty good, not as amazing as pulp fiction but deff one of the best films this year. Once again some scenes do go on a little longer than needed, however apart from that brillant. May be the best film with Brad Pitt ever as he really shines in this film.''

ManOfSceince118
Also known as MOS or 'that gay kid from California', ManOfSceince118 is quite possibly the biggest butt-fucking RETARD in the history of the world. He is known for raping the defenseless (Not just an hour ago he BUTTSECKS69'd this entire wiki into oblivion). He has no known friends ( they've all been CANYON'd lol nm, the original point stands, he's never had a friend) WUOTE MOS: "I see movies by myself all the time...I can't remember the last movie I saw with someone."

Bri-guy spends all day watching episodes of lost, lying naked on the floor as he does so. He is the source of the largest amount of FAIL deposits, and unless unleashed in little spurts every 118 minutes, goes KABLAMO and freaks out more than HITLER. Everyone enjoys making fun of him, because frankly, it is just so easy... hence misspelling 'Science' and not capitalizing 'LOST'. We all hope he dies.

Hobbies: Hanging out with friends, writing successful fan fiction and VS4 scripts, spelling, grammar, and underage drinking.

WUOTE: Ack, you're whack.

And you gon git smack(d)

DICKS EVERYWHERE

One day, MOS decided that everyone on FI was "boring" so he decided to take a 150 day break from the internetz. He's come back a dozen times since then, but no1 noticed or cared.

ALTERNATE PERSONALITY/DOWN SYNDROME
MOS118, being extremely unhappy with his life, often creates alternate personalities then logs onto FI as if he were different people. Examples include:
 * Samuel Woodruff Backlund: obviously a made-up name, apparently an azn 'ex-friend' of MOS; CANYON'd


 * Teddy Wells: Ivan from TV's Lost, a.k.a. Teddy313 and so obviously MOS, obviously.


 * MoonOfSkiing108: MOS, but more anally-retentive, had potential but sort of pointless like Nicki and Powlo.


 * Dylan: MOS pretended to be a 'friend' of himself to 'scope out' FI and make sure people would be okay with his return


 * Spelling & Grammer (LOL): fail


 * the beautiful claudia jamsson: because MOS couldn't last a single day without FI

lol He almost has more accounts than ack. Not that that's possible



Important equations relating to MOS

 * MOS = admin - any authority whatsoever


 * Hitler > MOS


 * MOS = LIS^FAIL


 * MOS's Fish Biscuits = i


 * MOS = Citizen

More recently, MOS fail has escalated to a new level. Not only is he the only member with a H8 forum and H8 Group (which he happens to be a member of) dedicated to him, but his large amount of fails has gotten high enough to become poll'd.

<--Because no one wants to hold his calculator while he figures out whether the movie's good or not.

Vlog
One day MOS made a vlog. Like all his videos, he stupidly deleted it soon after, but this one Ack was able to save. Therefore it will eternally be on the internets, whether MOS likes it or not.

DDg3Pq61_jY

BREAKING NEWS
MOS has been discovered to actually be Mickey Mouse. <- lol only the first couple of pages are any good at all then the thread goes to shit

Man of Stalking 118
MOS has recently been discovered to stalk people across the internet in an attempt to find out things about them. We all hope he dies.


 * WUOTE MOS: Why can't we all be friends? Why is it such a big deal if I find you all on Facebook or Last.fm and send you a friend request? What is possibly wrong with this? Are you all somehow against human CONNECTION?


 * WUOTE MOS: lol wuts da point of da intanet if i don't make 'online friends' to replace my lack of social interaction and follow them to every site they go to and spy on them :)


 * WUOTE MOS: Why did he post that link if he didn't want to be found?


 * WUOTE MOS: Oh hey there Mr Ribs, I'm here to fix your cable .. I figured it's okay cause we met on the internet. We're friends, RIGHT? RIGHT?!?!


 * WUOTE MOS: I'm not trying to spy on them.

I'M TRYING TO GET REVENGE FOR YOU AND EVERYONE ELSE FORCING ME TO CHANGE THE PASSWORD ON EVERY SINGLE ONE OF MY ONLINE ACCOUNTS

''You are total asshole, Ack, and I will never forgive you for that. You're just a self-centered, careless dick. You don't realize what kinds of ramifications come from your actions. I was extremely angry and upset and inconvenienced, and I played it down because I didn't want to start anything.''

1st February 2009: MOS goes completely crazy
Following on from the allegations of stalking and his consequent de-admin'ing, MOS went completely fucking crazy and lay himself down in front of Roos to pick apart his disposition with his dik. What followed can only be described as emotional rape as Roos revealed to MOS the obvious and intuitive truth that everyone on FI would have broken his jaw by now if it were IRL. Apparently MOS thought everything up until now had been a joak, when in fact it had all been serious. MOS slowly cracked. Then, he began the lengthy process of deleting every trace of himself from FI. Except he couldn't even achieve THIS because


 * he was no longer admin so could not delete his own threads


 * we can just revert the wiki, you idiot moron


 * everyone on FI will obviously remember Moon Of Skiing's massive, epic fail for years to come

So MOS's last official act on FI was, fittingly, a fail. He was soon de-modded and nominally JOAK'd.

We expect him back under a brand new guise any day now.Wut a suprise, it took less than a day. Our new member "the beautiful claudia jamsson" has been found to be MOS.

''Uh, I love Lost, skiing, Sweden, Darren Aronofsky, most HBO shows, Modest Mouse, Frank sinatra, baking, frisbee, computers (PCs, plz), classic books, bass guitar, deep sea fishing, late-night dorm discussions, ping-pong, and corduroy pants. That should pretty much cover it.'' ''No wait, I like beer. Don't tell my parents.'I don't like Heroes, wind surfing, sundaes, pulp fiction (noun), Pulp Fiction (film), Michael Bay, Gossip Girl, beer pong, R. Kelly, Little Wayne, Radiohead, Star Wars, Kant, Macs, and wine.''
 * WUOTE MOS the beautiful claudia jamsson: Hello. Uh, my name's Jeremy. I'm a computer programmer. Well I'm studying to be a computer programmer. I go to Cornell University in New York. (I'm a Freshman)

Mos has rejoined the fourm and, he is now even worse, and more annoying than before.

Goodbye, Sweet Prince
MOS's mom hired an INTERNET DETECTIVE to track down her son's online activities. What she saw shocked and repulsed her! And so MOS has once again left the forum for good, except it might actually be for REAL this time. The latest victim of the inexplicable FI purge of early '09. No one will miss him but now we have no target for malicious attacks!


 * WUOTE MOS: her perspective has made me reconsider whether or not my time spent on F.I. has been in anyway beneficial. At times, it's hilarious... a real hoot! But, mostly, it's insulting, deriding, offensive, mocking, denigrating, dismissive, and all the words the Merriam-Webster Thesaurus lists under hurtful.

I'll try my hardest to stay away, though; I promise.

lol it's about time. lol he returned after like three days, claiming he was just 'logging off' but had nevertheless been reading threads.

MOS's entire life is chronicled in the video below.



bsrj22
aka The Black Knight (that nobody likes) aka African American Knight



kentucky

bsrh


Bsrj has now been replaced on FI by his Mexican cousin bsrh, thank fuck.

Deleting the cbox turned him ghey, WUOTE: "If I get banned, I want you ALL to know, you are some of the coolest most understanding people I know. I wish I knew people like all of you in real life. You all love to make tons of jokes but you know when to take things seriously. you are some of the nicest people I know too, and I go to a christain highschool. if I get banned I will miss you all a ton."

Bsrj has become a whiney bitch loser. It's more annoying than zuko.


 * WUOTE CRTMN: bsrj, why are you so concerned with style and appearances when you look like you?

Zuko412
FI's token black guy, e.g. he plays basketball, is 6 foot tall and his name is Michael. He got fired from his job at his Dad's fried chicken restaurant for masturbating into the chicken buckets too much. Or not enough. The story is unclear but involved droogz. He once had a girlfriend but then...

He likes black whores
Zuko decided he didn't want to wait around for Nicole to be 'ready' for his snake on her plane and so made up stories about sleeping with other wimminz. He decided he likes black whores best because they are "more loose." However every silver lining has a cloud and Zuko once complained in the c-box that despite their positive attributes, black whores "have no souls." Well of course they don't Zuko. They're black. Then Nicole's Dad got killed in a drive-by and Zuko decided to ease the mood by making a JOAK about drive-bys. This prompted her to ironically dump his bum on da curb and leave forever.

THIS NEVER FUCKING HAPPENED

Negatopia
Zuko412 was also the mastermind behind the groundbreaking fanfic series Negatopia, a word created ingeniously by Zuko to describe a 'negative utopia', some kind of DYSTOPIC future in which the series was set. HOWEVER, It is a little-known fact that MOS actually made the name 'Negatopia'. And nobody had any complaints until Russ noticed this.

Parrot
Zuko, being black, is terribly uneducated. As such, he resorts to copy & pasting illegal chinks' posts.

This plagiarism makes up approximately 98% of his posts. The other 2% are posts that blow your motherfucking mind.

This just in:

Zuko is now a gigantic prick. Although he doesn't have one. lol

Zuko_4-12: lol wut are bjs like?

Zuko_4-12: Wuts a ZJ?

Sue Johanson: A ZJ, zuko, is a girls last resort.

Sue Johanson: Only depressed, worthless women are willing to give them.

Sue Johanson: An AJ, on the other hand.... every girl wants to do that.

Zukoverse Productions
Zuko now has his own website. Like everything else he's ever created or attempted to create, e.g. his artwork, fanfics, video games, novel and music, the website appeals to the very ethos of concentrated mediocrity, except is worse this time because the idea is to SHOWCASE all his other 'projects'.

lol DELETED
A mere day after creating the site, Zuko deleted it when Roos and Curtis complained that it was awful and not funny.

JoeLostDharma
Founder of the horseshit successful horseshit forum HAM. Irish.

Also sings in the Celtic punk band 'The Nellys'.

Joe recently hit puberty. As such he is fapping around about 90% of the times he makes a post. Apparently doesn't understanf.

UPDATE: Joey now periodically logs onto FI exclusively to complain about how much he hates being on FI. No1 cares enough to try to understanf why, but he seems to be happy at his new home page BEEF so we just let him get on with it.

Oh yeah and we deleted his site.

SkateGame
Firewalls and droogz 4 LIFE.

Believed to be the 1st EMO ever. SkateGame is a famous and esteemed movie critic who forgets that sometimes even movie critics have to like movies. Has been going on some hot streaks recently in the dating world but was too good for his Pier 1 model/mistress. Having filled the void of unbelievable fail left wide open since MOS's departure, he is similarly obsessed with reviews and every bit as pretentious and ELITIST. Look at this DIK REVIEW... HOW PRETENTIOUS! He still enjoys being a badass though.

In the intervening time of WIKI DISAPPEARANCE HYSTERIA, SkateGame has returned and everyone likes him now. Even though he wasn't voted to be an elite, he somehow is one. Good job, Paul.

It looks like he may be here to stay for good, which sort of sucks. To learn more about SkateGame, go read The Stand by Stephen King and get back to me.

After participating in the call to Durtis, drunken Skate started rambling on Skype about how sorry he was that he left FI the first time. Roughly twenty minutes later, a perfectly sober Skate announced on FI that he was leaving. Of course, this only lasted a month. As you can see, Skate is known for his incredible feats in self-control.

davidtoms007
Religious nutjob. Pretends to be James Bond in his free time. As a result, he is very secretive, and nothing further is known about him.

Kevin Cavanagh
Kevin Cavanagh obviously has nothing to hide, because with his name out there in the open, all a haxx0r needs now is his e-mail address to steal his identity. Go Go Go!

Collaborated with Krkv6, who was most definitely very interested in the project, on a two part episode of Lost fan-fiction.

Did a wonderful job of organizing Room 23 and constructed "Best LOST Scene" and "Best Comedic LOST One-Liner" tournaments in The Beach.

Likes to publicize his girlfriend issues and participate in pyramid schemes.

Text him. It's his latest hobby. But only during Grey's Anatomy. Whore.

kittengoespoop
An aspiring actor and regularly defecating kitten who has an affinity for word filters. He sometimes can be heard to claim that his name is actually kittengoesPOP, but this is not true for two reasons: 1. It is not true

2. Kittens don't go pop. Unless you put them in a microwave. But then you'd be a sick fuck. Have you considered joining FI?

Although originally classified as 'Elite', he is actually a n00b.

I would write more about KGP, but I abstain, courteously.

Disappeared at around the same time LIS got purged. lol well no shit they're the same person.

Aspen
One day, a new user named Aspen joined FI. Because FI never gets new members, everyone immediately suspected him to be one of us, taboo or one of Paul's gay nerd friends. Everyone began pointing the finger at one another as Aspen sat back and watched the site tear itself apart. Aspen then posted a " :o!!!" which caused Paul to FREAK OUT and think the site was gonna be destoyed or something. Turns out he was wrong and now Paul thinks he's some sort of PROPHET to save us from ourselves.

Rumors have also started concerning Aspen's psychic capabilities. Such are yet to be absolutely confirmed, but many are believers.

WUOTE Hurley: Who is this guy?

It turns out Aspen is just Steve, Curtis' gai nerd friend and later gai nerd roomate. They're just two happy guys!

Ghidorah06
I WANT 2 BELIEVE

Has a strange monster movie fetish.

Ghidorah is also an Emmy award winning actor and he even does his own stunts!

Ghidorah: "Don't mess with my reenactment!!! lol"

Ghidorah: trool in my friend 's board and my friend name is rage is ownder of rangerplanet and how stupid troll of my friend 's board

HELLO MY HOBBIES INCLUDE: GIANT MONSTERS WHATS YOUR NAME

seven
Being one of the newer members of FI, not much is known about seven besides the fact that he's a huge video game nerd. Uh...likes posting Nielsen ratings? ...lol! ded

Deaderrose
A former coke fiend and stripper, DeaderRose stumbled onto FI in her quest to satisfy one of her frequent and serious cravings for black cock. Finding only a Hupu, however, she neglected to post for a couple of years, preferring to just stare at the seabocks. Now known as drrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr (pronounced 'duhhhhhhh'), she is sum dum girl with absolutely no life, who spends every waking second on the aforementioned'M A BARE SUCK MA DIIIIIICK gai nerd lost forum. Recently took big step forward in her lyf by actually posting. Does arts, will end up homeless, no1 carez. Also happens to be Mal's current obsession.

Gingers
Gingers are members with redhair, pale skin and freckles and are the lowest on the FI: Totem Pole. Unfortunately, FI has recently become invaded by Gingers. There is no known cure for this cancer but the forum survives by ostracising the offending members and giving them their own Ginger sanctuary.This is in fact a junkyard, but they don't know any better. Meanwhile FI lives on by completely ignoring all passing Gingers lest they become organised and threaten the very internets we stand on.

CURTIS is a ginger but is also an admin (lol_WUT) so he's thusly not included in this section. Some of our ex-regular gingers are now DEAD (lol GOOD) and can be found in the ever-expanding R.I.P section.

LIS
Stuck in the wastelands of Buffalo with fucktard ack, LIS came to FI later than the REAL members. Although he thinks he's ONE OF US, and tries to fit in by liking TEH SABERS (see: FAIL), due to his late arrival, he will never fully fit in. Hated by MOS, WUOTE: "LIS is just a douchebag." Often writes novels for posts. These novels are almost fully comprised of a strange language known as txt or nub spk.

Enjoys murdering memes in his spare time. R.I.P. Mundai.

Recently discovered to have herpes.

Posts episode reviews, oblivious to the fact that no1 cares.

Disappearance
LIS has recently disappeared from FI. No one knows what happened to him, although the primary theory is that he got so butthurt over Locke being resurrected that he banned himself from life.

Return
LIS more recently returned to FI during the equally inexplicable FI de-purge of early '09.

kez
FI's resident comic book and video game gay nerd. Recently discovered to officially be FI's 4th ginger. God help us all.

To the batmobile!

WUOTE: What are you DENSE? Are you RETARDED or something? Who the HELL do you think I am? I'm the GODDAMN BATMAN.

mikeyb9m3bek
Briddish, lol sucks for him. Good with art. Possible eugenicist. Writer of fan-fic 'Ripoff-Russ-Galactica'.

Once c-box harassed by a kid from his school, who ended up just being flowsta. Is known to be disturbingly passionate about Arthropod/Lizard crossbreeding and various other CRIMES AGAINST NATURE.

Discovered both iSketch and Taboo's identity.

O LAWD HE'S A FUCKING GINGER

bsrj's sister






















(This is clrly bsrj in drag)

ThatLostGuy


Also known as "an Admin" TLG is a friend of simplton's who recently joined the site. TLG started writing a few FanFics, but shortly after starting he abandoned them, lol he'll fit right in Known for updating the wiki in a completely non-hilarious manner. Has shown to be quite the perceptive one when it comes to watching LOST!

TLG, aka Vernon Curtis, has became fed up with FI after Doc and Curtis wouldn't take him off probation, so he created a hate group called The FI Brigade. The group consisted of TLG, his gai nerd friend, Mikey, possibly bsrj, and the man behind the curtain, Zuko. This group was absolute fail.

To no one's surprise, he was recently outed as a ginger. Banned for this very reason.

Post-mortem
Since TLG annoys Dock and Curtis daily about coming back to FI, one day Doc joakingly told him that if he brought LIS back from the dead that he could come back. Knowing this was impossible, since LIS was dead, Doc didn't think anything of the statement.

Then, merely one day later, LIS comes back much to Doc's surprise. Thinking it was a silly coincidence, Doc shrugged it off.

Then, Doc decided to take it one step further. Three fucking hours later, CRTMN makes his first post in months.

TLG's power has not been tested since, both out of fear for his immense abilities and CBF.

Later, TLG was locked in The Brig for a short amount of time before ack ban't him again. The kinky fool has not made an appearance on FI since.

He's back again. He's posting as a user named Xaviercorps, but everyone knows it's TLG. But this begs the question... Was TLG the most sucessful Taboo infiltration to date, or is he a real member?

WOULD-BE mods... lol moar lyk WOULD-BE elites
Members of this highly selective group are TOO good to be mods. If it wasn't for being feared by the people in charge, these suppressed genius' would surly be in charge.

Henry42 aka flowsta
This WOULD BE mod is not worth the effort of writing a blurb. Cause of death.



With awesome posts as of late, such as "ROFLcopterzzzzzzzzz XD" and "luzerz die XXXDDD", henry is a russ-heart attack away from becoming elite! good for him!!!PS: he actually was elite for 2 days but then some bitches realized they still got sand in their vaginas and so decided to unelite him. nevertheless he keeps on board!

AAAAAND he's gone!

i won't be around until 1 month before the season 6 premiere, so have a nice christmas, new years eve, et fuckin c!

i rly hope you all make it to 2010 - except john, ribs and ack!!

see you next year gang!

brrrrrrrrrrrrrr* born to fly!

Teddy313
Teddy aka IVAN

buttsex69
It goes without saying ...

Related to: CRTMNBUTTSECKS

delia
This valued member of our community has the greatest rep on FI without even making a post. She's that awesome.

RussianLove (aka Klugh)
The forum conundrum ... HOO is he? Is he FGG? Is he gbvfan? Is he russ_who_ross (no, but it was lulz to say that he was)? Is he a she who chopped off his penis or turned it inside out (lol?) and got implants? Here's a KLUGH: he might not be any of these people, but he undoubtedly SHOULD be a mod.

jonnyrocket
jonnyrocket was not on FI for very long. Some believe he only even arrived to trool johnnyrocket. Other sources suggest that johnnyrocket was in fact the trool, and jonnyrocket subsequently joined to defend his good name. Neither of these explanations account for the fact that johnnyrocket was never on FI at any time. During his short stay he saw Curtis and bsrj's faces, and deemed them to be "both ok (the faces)".

WUOTES

ack: oh no looks like i missed jonnyrocket

Paulus: That johnnyrocket is quite the character!

oyster_boy
The most fascinating lurker since geraldpringle, he finally broke his vow of silence after 3 years of lurking. Ended up being a cunt, wut a fucking surprise.

''right im getting sick of this. theres no need to be so rude. i come here because i respect all of your opinions on the show lost and i dont expect to be insulted. you are all very rude. i think your all very clever too and you have some good threads but you are all incredibly rude and this kind of post is just not called for. please just let me look at your topics without insulting me. i dont see why i cant just view the board in peace is that too much to ask? thank you and please go away''

oyster_boy is a pretty cool guy. eh just wants to be left alone and doesn't afraid of anything

Citizen's merry band of friends
a.k.a bunch of twots and worse thing to ever happen to FI

Citizen (aka Bon Juttez, Lieutenant Buttez, Jonathan Arse)
Trailblazing his way into FI lore, Citizen once claimed he'd disembowel his own father if it meant getting one last pelvic thrust upon a 50 X 50 animated GIF of Emilie De Ravin's wriggling feet. Other interests include: impromptu podiatry, bunion removal & self-storage, armless people, men who can fill up every inch of a novelty clown shoe, and genuine Camel Toe (NOT EUPHEMISM). Fortunately for the good people of Further Instructions, the Colombian has returned to the site. He now splooges over Kristen Bell's feet and more importantly Heroes, God's gift to television.

Did Citizen mention that he has been re-watching season 4? ...!

Citizen and his merry band of friends now populate FI, and spend their days talking about their epic lulz!

Recently Buttez posted non-foot related pr0n and was summarily banned. His friends are still here, managing just fine without their fearless leader.

He's back, and he's invading America!

Ribs
A Citizen Butte recruit, he is the best new member on the site, and is possibly the fastest member to ever catch onto the FI spirit. MOS is so attracted to him that he took it upon himself to stalk him. He now hates bsrj, and thus has put him on ignore.

WUOTE: And this is part of why I put bsrj on ignore. (insert anything relating to bsrj here)

Has a thing for FAT GIRLS and jerked it to bsrj's sister.

Leaffan20
Even though he joined FI in June '07, he didn't start posting until Citizen Butte re-recruited him. Although he has technically been on FI the longest out of John's merry band of friends, he is by far the biggest nub of the bunch.

Jeffrey is quite the character! Sounds like a Mexican scooby doo. Hobbies including sizing you up, going to the cabin and smoking sum buko.


 * WUOTE: Oh men.

SidewinderBudd
He is Darren Aronofsky fan

Who is he? no1 knows.

Why is he? John Buttez brought him.

Wherefore art he? no1 carez

The other members of Citizen's merry band of fucks departed FI citing sexual harassment and not getting the joak.

Enemies
Over the past few years, FI has made numerous enemies. These people are all retards who we had a hand in pissing off

gbvfan
God's second son.


 * WUOTE: Here is what has been really under my skin for the past few days:

''THIS COMMUNITY has nothing to do with other LOST fan sites, including TV.COM, which we all found out about this great website through. I'm sick and tired of some members arguing over frivolous things, especially when it comes to LOST, or other LOST web pages. Isn't that what we came here for? This site has become something that it was never intended to be. We all are here (members old and new, creators of this site) to discuss the television show we all LOVE.''

''What has happened? Why are there (even if it is in some sort of joking reference) tension between the members.''

''TV.COM is SHIT. I've never visited any other sites. I come here to discuss LOST, the show we all LOVE. I am so tired of any member referencing other web sites! That is bullshit. This web page is devoted to THIS COMMUNITY of LOST lovers.''

''Yes, it is a long time until the 4th season begins. But what started out as 'possibly' interesting topics (other than stupid fucking games) I will never believe Paul or Dutchiee wanted this to be.''

''NOW - with that being said, the members of this web site have become great people in my eyes, whether or not I disagree with their opinions. BUT THAT IS WHAT MAKES THIS SITE different than any other LOST site! C'mon people. Stop fucking around.''

''I have been in touch with MOS (who, in my opinion, knows, or loves, everything about LOST). I am hoping the lot of us can put differences aside (personal differences, not opinion differences) behind us.''

''We NEED to make this web site, and EVERY members opinions, matter. This (correct me if I'm wrong) is what this site was created for!''

''In summary, think about what LOST means to each and every one of you. THEN, think of what would happen if members that you have grown to love and respect backed out on it. Does any member want that?! I sure don't. I've said my piece. If anyone wants to bring up something with me, please do. YOU owe it to this wonderful group of fans.''

''And, if any member is thinking 'Wait a minute, what about you, Ben?' Jay (sunlust) and I are hardly EVER on the same page when it comes to favorite characters or favorite episodes. BUT - do I dislike, or in anyway, not respect his opinions?''

''FUCK NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I respect his opinions and insight incredibly.''

lol, retard

Lostifyed


This fail of a creature is essentially all here

WORDS

Lord_Taboo


Previously known as sawyer_gotta_gun (FAKE SGG. Note the misspelling of 'Gota'), Taboo was banned from the forum for being a primordial turd that not belong on FI, plus a spammer and a troll.

Then Taboo created her own fort along with her sidekick duck, Dill. lol dat's rite, Taboo was later discovered to be a GURL. She named this site Catch 22 and used it to respond to what people were saying on the FI cbox even though no1 cared what she had to say. She did this obsessively for WEEKS STILL DOES THIS, along with e-mailing members of FI telling them to convince Paul to unban her from FI. Taboo is truly the single-most pathetic lifeform ever to grace FI, and that's saying something. lol ANYWAY...


 * WUOTE:

"Ok, so I sorta need to rant because there's only one other time in my life I've felt so confused. On May 18th, 19th, and 20th 13 ducklings hatched bc one of my ducks had a nest we didnt know bout till it was too late. So in teh beginning it was all fine and dandy and I had loads of fun with teh 13 of them. I immediately put them in my room (Dill wasnt too happy bout that) and for the next month & a 1/2 or so I thought I was teh luckiest person in teh world for having so many adorable ducklings to play with. But then they started moulting, getting their adult feathers in. Dust and feathers covered the room (and still do) and thats where the trouble started. With each month that went by they became even more uncontrollable mess wise and I feel that I'm enslaved by ducks.



So here's the prob. What do I do? My room is completly destroyed. I have to get new floor, have the walls painted, they ruined tons of my stuff no mattter how hard I tryed to duck proof teh place..not to mention killing most my plants. it'll take forever to clean teh room but most of all I dont know what to do with them. I love them alot, srsly. But I cant even sleep in my room anymore for my health. I'm allergic to ducks so it was bad enough with Dill alone in my room and now I've got 14 in all in there and the dust/feathers are unbelieveable.So bottom line: they have to leave my room BUT I cant just throw them outside cuz they get eaten by racoons/foxes and who knows what other animals. Also they cost tons to feed and ive got 23 ducks in all to feed, not to mention wild ones that come so my parents wont quit fussing to me bout the stupid money. So like I think I'll have to put them outside and let them run loose in the backyard during day, at nite pen them up till i can find homes for them with my "duck ppl". Yet theres still a prob cuz my dad wont build a pen and i couldnt to save my life...

Why most things be so difficult? I'm confused, angry, upset, nervous, fusterated, + inexpliable feelings I cant even explain..seems like someone would explode with so many emotions. I just really really dont wanna get rid of my ducks. I've let them destroy my things and bedroom for over 7 months and then I have to simply give them anyway? I'd rather give away some of the outdoor ducks instead but my folks won't hear of that. They dont understand how difficult this is. I just want to be free...

So I'll keep Will, Chris, Claire, another girl, and of course Dill and give away the rest I guess. I just dont know how I'll part with teh rest. Another concern of mine is the other pets in my room sides teh ducks. Theo, my syrian is making a clicky noise which def. isnt good. She has allergies to things like me but I dont think this is a allergie. I hope she has a cold bc if she doesnt its most likely a respiratory infection which isnt curable. And if the ducks caused it there [will] be retribution.

Alright, end of rant. It didnt really help me sort out what I'm going to do but I suppose it made me feel better all teh same."

Nicolas Cage


A few months into Taboo's rants and raves over at her madhouse, something had to be done. This is when Nicolas Cage descended his presence onto the land that we trod troll: the internets. Nicolas Cage explosively took over the admin position at Catch 22, and descended the site into utter chaos. With his SIDEKICK lol_wut pear, they covered the site with his glorious image.

Taboo restored the site, but not long after, Nicolas Cage wiped it out again. Taboo, seeing that this was an impossible battle, and that Catch 22 was beyond repair, made a new Catch 22.

Nicolas Cage is now a meme and stands for justice against internet retardation everywhere. Though his appearances are rare, when he appears, he hits HARD.

Taboo incarnations
Seeing that she'll never be let back on FI, ever, Taboo resorted to using proxies in order to talk to people that lament her presence.

These incarnations include, but are not limited to:


 * vh1Reject


 * Man_Of_Faith42


 * Ben


 * William


 * Sawyer


 * Dharma Hanso actually this one was Zuko trying to prove some point that no1 gave a fuck about


 * Pipin


 * COUNTLESS amount of cbox incarnations too numerous to list

WUOTE William: "One of which has some major issues and I recommend he see a physiologist. (and I’m not talking about paul btw)."

BUT, it's not that she WANTS to be on FI, it's about the PRINCIPLE!

FamilyGuyGary
FamilyGuyGary, otherwise known as FGG, is yet another classic example of a Briddish Twat. Neurotic over his passions--Family Guy, Red Hot Chili Peppers, and, most recently, Heroes -- FGG flips out over the most miniscule criticism, and in his final performance, deleted the Heroes Board.

He returned to the site with a vengeance as Russianlove, but after being discovered by Sherlock Homes, staged a real comeback.

His hobbies include eating popcorn and spamming forums.

FGG? MOAR LIKE FGL
He's back, stupidly reincarnated as FamilyGuyLarry. New name, same old retard.

epic lulz, joey!

simplton


First official WOULD BE mod, Simplton is a retarded, southern teenage /b/tard. Spelling the name wrong is all part of the ruse. He tried to tone down his smrts to fit in with FI (see: picture), but there is only so much you can hide. Clearly, he was too smart for his own good, as he got found out. Unfortunately for FI, Simplton frequents the site much more often now. Recently he started making blogs for the FI community, but only the first of the three were any good.

Russ posts tend to excite young simplton!

WUOTE: That Russ post was full of win!

In his spare time he hits his bitch of a sister. He also likes taking provocative pathetic photos of her where she's trying to look hot and flaunt her 'booty' but she just looks retarded. lol he's from the south if you didn't pick that up

Update: simplton has found Jebus. He was hiding down in the crack between the couch cushions.

Simplton also receives tries to receive hatless blowjobs.

WUOTE: g1nger23 (1:24:05 AM): WHY do you think you need a hat, take a guess

SimpltonX2 (1:24:42 AM): to hide my erection?

g1nger23 (1:24:51 AM): hahaha NO

SimpltonX2 (1:25:11 AM): to cover her face?

Recently, the dumb fuck Simplton posted a video to some sort of pr0n/murder/torture website. As a result, everyone still doesn't want him here. His grammar sucks, he posts links to pornographic websites and torture videos, everyone talks badly of him, he's doing bad in school, he's a fuck, a hick and he works at the family business, a convenience store, on Saturday mornings ... just like Citizen.

Even more recently, Simplton decided to be even more of a BUTT FUCK and posted spoilers on the site. Because of this, he has been permanently banned from FI. Hooray!

Darth Haggis
Yet another HAM n00b who made his way over to FI pre-HAM deletion.

MOAR WORDS PLZ

slick14805
CALL HIM ISMAEL! Roots for the Cubs, wutanub. Even though his team hasn't won a championship in over 100 years!! He also is a member for HAM and plays Jack in the rpg (Rigged anyone??) HUGE Jack fan, wut a loser. < sorry about this. Slick wrote all of this himself. That's why it's so embarrassingly unfunny.

He is the holy trinity of Paco, Curtis, and Leah.

WUOTE SLICK: "Hey just saw FIpedia where the hell am I?"

"I know im new, but I think I should at least be mentioned at least in a two word sentence"

"I got my picture but nooo I am not worthy to be on FIpedia...I got it all framd and everything"

"come on u can do better for my FIpedia profile."

As you can see, he enjoys bitching about not being included in the wiki, even after being included.

Slick soon started spam-advertising the HAM RPG, which is now deleted.

WUOTE SLICK:

http://s11.zetaboards.com/Hearts_And_Minds/forum/3000498

http://s11.zetaboards.com/Hearts_And_Minds/forum/3000498

http://s11.zetaboards.com/Hearts_And_Minds/forum/3000498

http://s11.zetaboards.com/Hearts_And_Minds/forum/3000498

http://s11.zetaboards.com/Hearts_And_Minds/forum/3000498

http://s11.zetaboards.com/Hearts_And_Minds/forum/3000498

x918237519235892357982758

Following the above spam drama, FI retaliated by spamming its own c-box even more. This may not have been logickal, but it did lead to lulz when everyone decided to place the blame for it ALL squarely on Slick's face. This led slick to the LIKELY conclusion that "bsrj put a cookie on me." This led to much lulz and picturespam during the ensuing HAM destruction.

Slick has recently been seen back on FI spamming it with some Doc post to try to make a point or something. We put an Oreo on him and he disappeared for good.

R.I.P.
These members are no longer with us. They have become JOAKS.

richlost a.k.a. 'The Aging Cowboy'
Some kind of cowboy/mail-man, and (updated to definitely) a JOAK

Wise and old, he won't say anything, if there's nothing worth saying. Anti-Cbox, lol wut? Good at making banners.

Legally FI Dead. Left in disgust a short while before the '09 FI Purge.

JamesX32
Nice Guy, probably resulting from his perpetually hotbox't mountaintop single-wide. Lives in Kentucky, "the Smurf't Ganja State". Once played the washboard in a Led Zeppelin/Pink Floyd clusterfuck cover band called "Immigrant Song: The Wall". Was later booted to de curb by his bandmates for being a "Communist".

Killed during or before the '09 FI purge. Probably before and no1 noticed.

Wuote Bsrj: JAMES SUCKS DICKS

Simple Propaganda
Draws penii in iSketch.

Has irregular bowel movements.

Doesn't visit any more. Dead etc.

athevolunteer
The once popular and regular at the forum, has now left us for a forum made up of Tv.com-ers. Likes grammer and Big Brother. Comes by and posts every so often. He also goes to BAND CAMP. lol

Discovered the Evil Blueberry &gt;___&gt;

Moar like THE EVIL POOBERRY, AMIRITE?

Update: The Evil Blueberry Returns and it's still fail

Unfortunately athevolunteer himself has not returned. Purged etc.

DoctorAwesome
The 'other Doctor' hails from Reykjavik, Hofueborgarsvaei, Brofughgterghiwutgjei, Ghoeirvefcavednedfifeetagg, Rhtopfegjeiroghwriogwroeghfrheifhfefihterirghwitgroweprejwwruerertyur, Iceland. lol try saying dat 10 times fast.

Enjoys the occasional HOT SPRING.

Devastated by the crushing defeat the Icelandic Handball team suffered in the 2008 Olympics. Iceland isn't very good at anything so this was a BIG deal.

Missing. Presumed eaten by a polar bear during the FI purge of early '09

LOSTismylife
Previously voted FI's friendliest member and once regularly expressed her unadulterated LUV for everyone on on the forums (save for ack, whose SUBTLE advances were often met with a definitive ). This pristine conception was abruptly shattered when her internets broke for a week and in the collateral blast everyone on FI became tainted by consummate FAIL and exclusively unworthy of LUV. Has been recently spotted avoiding FI by carefully circumnavigating the detour path through the HAM "fallout shelter". Recently came back to FI.

MOAR recently left FI and the internets.

Blair
Malion's girlfriend, aka yet another stupid Malion account used to make it seem like he has IRL popularity and LUV interests.Founder of popular experimental rock band Domi Mondo

Likes making introduction threads.

HAHAHA SHE DUMPED HIM

britty9


Brittyboo loves outerspace and enjoys discussing it with people. But beware, she might asthma attack you from all the excitement!!!!

WUOTE Britty: ''The thought of being launched at a speed unfathomable to my mind into something that is a large nothing...the fucking space craft could explode at ANY given time. What a rush! Plus, what in the FUCK are you supposed to do up there, you ask? Sight see, of course! Oh look, MORE BLACK!!! It's beauuuutiful, I've never seen so much beautiful blackness in my LIFE.''

''There's other bonuses as well. For example:''

''Food: I'm all for having fun whilst eating, and honestly, who wants to be a part of: Extreme Eating! I mean, when I picture this I picture people up there, on their little space craft with their little space jammies..maybe you want a midnight snack? Okay, let's play catch the saltine! Then you can eat!''

(Perhaps that's not HOW it goes down, but in my dreams, that's how it happens, suddenly, the saltines are chasing you.   That would be awesome)

Number two on the example list would probably be aliens.

''Oh FUCk, we blew a tire? Something else needs fixed OUTSIDE of the spacecraft? Okay, it can be handled, right? RIGHT! You head out of the big ol' carrier and you're fixing up the broken shit and all of a sudden, there's an alien tapping on your shoulder. No time to think, "What the fuck are you doing here?" no time for, "Are you Xenu?" No, no time for that before they hug you with their little fuckin cuddly arms....no nice lovely sad funeral for you...after the alien makes your day, you drift off in ecstasy, then probably combust into rainbows before you're sucked into a black hole. Sign me up!''

''The list goes on and on. What about when you have to use the facilities? That could just get downright awesome, and I know, I've had dreams about it.''

Tricia


She's one intimidating broad..Slept with a gai, no1 cares

Q: lol why do Citizen's friends all sound look like porn stars?

A: Because when a girl Citizen is chatting to turns out to be fat with cake chins, or just ugly, he says "nice pic" and then stops talking her. But he doesn't say her face is deformed.

he says "nice pic" and then stops talking her.

glostlover


Enjoys Dildos.

Test_Account
Test_Account was an intergalactic pedophile and notable forum muppet who, in the depths of his cold polyester vas deferens, just wanted to find a place to belong. After hearing from Keldorn Firecam and AMERICA that poll rigging wasn't a means to this end, he decided it wise to challenge superior FI members to unwinnable cbox donnybrooks and arbitrary FEETS OF SKILL. One fateful day after tossing a particularly painful barb of 'rooss' at the MAN OF COOKEEZ, Test_Account abruptly found himself kabob'd lengthwise by 2 wit-laden rapiers. Before his breathing grew forever hushed, he saw through the blinding glint of tandem blades that they were wielded by the aforementioned Rooss and that illegal hentai fluffer known as BUNCRUST.

Suddenly DocYoda managed to somehow heyguyswutsgoingon himself out from cowering in a nearby foxhole and wuoted a timelessly unmemorable rooss SIG. Fleeting lulz were shared.


 * THE WUOTE IN WUESTION:

DoctorYoda: ''I'm not sure I understand you guys ... a new user called Test_Account started posting ... and you both ... killed him?''

lol dat's right dock. Test_Account has since risen from the ashes. Ackermaniv now frequently uses the account to RIG polls in his favour.

angrykoopa
You took his ONLY food. Likes: Intel, FamilyGuyGary. Known for making jokes about azns but then when someone else makes one he gets all offended and never signs onto FI again, lol.

Koopa: I GO TO COLLAGE NOW, IF YOU MISS ME YOU CAN ADD ME ON TEH FACEBOOK JUST LOOK UP ANGRYKOOPA

Sawyer_Gota_Gun
A legend, plain and simple. He is the most infamous Tv.com user, and it's a shame that he disappeared from the internets before the FI revolution started.

His major claim to fame was his Liam = Patchy theory (made through his secondary account, DilJohnLocke).

SGG's GREATEST HITS

 * Liam = Patchy


 * Hurley's pimpmobile


 * Eko's strip club


 * BOYS ONLY THREAD

Unfortunately, most of these threads have been deleted. The Liam = Patchy thread is saved somewhere on Porlus' computer, but all the others are GONE FOREVER. R.I.P.

Eventually, because SGG is a RETARD, he created an account called Aussy_M8 and trolled the forums with it in order to draw off the negative attention directed towards his main account, Sawyer_Gota_Gun. It worked, but temporarily. Aussy_M8 got IP-banned which means that ALL of SGG's accounts were banned. SGG and DJL's names lived on... A_M8's, not so much. So his plan ultimately FAILED. And that is the story all about how Tv.com got flipped-turned upside down. Tv.com was never the same after SGG's banishment.

There have been MANY imitators of the great SGG, all equally FAIL.

=History=

Shit happened.

Admin and Mod History
There have been many changes in staff during FI's history. Here's a re-cap

Paul - Admin - Created site

Linda - Mod - Showed up early and was mod'd

Dutchiee - Admin - Showed up at site

Doc - Mod - Demanded he be mod'd in exchange for recruits

Skate - Mod - Showed up and was mod'd

Skate - Unmod - Emo'd and Demod'd

Dutchiee - Unadmin - Quit

MOS - Admin - Came back after months, incentive to stay

CRTMN - Mod - He came back from Black Rock, incentive to stay

Doc - Admin - Promoted in time of need

Linda - Unmod - Was never here

Russ - Mod - Staff vote

Paul - Unadmin - Quit

Curtis - Admin - FI vote

Russ - Admin - Incentive to stop bitching about Curtis being Admin first

CRTMN - Admin - Incentive to stop bitching about being the only mod

Paul - Admin - readmin'd to fix banners (?)

Zuko - Admin - paul thought this was a smrt idea. as you will see from what happens, clearly it wasn't

Citizen - Admin - zuko is st00pid

Ack - Admin - lol ack missed out on his 15 minutes of FI fame

Zuko, Citizen - has-been-mod'd - got deadmined because they sucked

Ack - Elite - reverted to where he was. unaware that anything happened

Russ - Unadmin'd - turned into henry and let bsjr destroy the cbox

Russ - Mod - Because if he made a gun, and shot you in the face, would it still be his face?

Russ - Admin - voated in FAIR AND SQUAIR

Russ - De-admin'd - MOS thinks he is an authority above all others

MOS - Un-admin'd - MOS asked to be un-admin'd on the cbox. Later claimed that Russ was impersonating him on the cbox. lol ya rite

Russ - Admin - MOS asked for Roos to replace him as admin upon stepping down.

MOS - Re-admin'd - Went bonkaz after being un-admin'd and the whole of FI feared for his sanity and well-being. Well, actually only Zuko.

MOS - Un-admin'd - Stalking

MOS - Un-mod'd - Suicide risk

Russ - Self-unadmin'd - Flipped out after people didn't like a theory he made.

Paul - Super Sleuth'd - Same thing as a moderator but with a SILLAYZ name. Was made one after simplton spoiled him (and was subsequently ban't) and Paul became paranoid about simplton re-joining the forum so this was the only way to calm him the fuck down.

Curtis - De-admin'd - Didn't make a March Madness bracket

Curtis - Re-admin'd - It was a joak John

MOS - Re-admin'd in secret - Outed by Ack about a month after secretly being made admin

Roos - Admin'd - The staff was too boring without its staple loose cannon

CRTMN - Un-admin'd - Stepped down due to eating disorder

MOS - Un-admin'd - There's no point in being a secret admin if it's no longer a secret

Roos - Un-admin'd - left the forum and internets to spend more time IRL

Brian Peppers - Admin'd - replacement for Roos

Doc - Un-admin'd - Brian Peppers intensely hates the color purple, apparently!

Curtis - Un-admin'd - Purple

Doc - Admin'd - Brian Peppers REALLY likes the color lime green, though!

Curtis - Admin'd - Lime green

ff_zero - Super Sleuth'd - Won FI: The Apprentice

Brian Peppers - Un-admin'd; redundant

Roos Brian's Mom Big Barry - Admin'd - after his soul searching Roos came back to the internets and replaced Brian Peppers

ff_zero - Admin'd - Birthday Sex Promotion

Paulus - Double-sleuth'd - cuz 2 super sleuthes are better than 1

Currently

Boc - Admin

Roos - Admin

Curtislost - Admin

ff_zero - Admin

Paulus - Super Sleuth

Paulus - Super Sleuth

Events
In FI's history, a lot of epic shit's gone down. HERE'S A RECAP.

MOS' Departure Part 1, 2, 3 & 4
The long and the short of it is, everyone was making fun of MOS for having a gay fettish for Matthew Fox. MOS couldn't handle the heat, and left. During his absence, he cried like a bitch to GBVfan. Some amount of time later, MOS came to the site disguised as DYLAN (made up friend), to see if he was still welcome. He blamed his absence on his Mom's shinglz. LOL. In typical fashion, Paul offered MOS admin-status, baring that he returned. As of today, the forum is cluttered with MOS-fail. THNX PAUL.

lol @ his mom having shinglz. talk about major fail.

MOS then left a second time for 150 days, because he was quote "bored" of us. He came back about a month later.

The third time Bri-guy left forever was because he was driven bonkaz by just about everyone on the site after he stalked Ribs. He deleted over 1,000 posts and vowed to never come back to FI again.

He did, but then after his shinglz-free mom hired internet police to track down her special little guy's whereabouts, MOS was convinced of our sins, and has now left forever again. He still comes back, but just to oyster-boy around.

FI Episode Guides
ROFL

The WAR
Disguised as a fun little game, the WAR was actually a culmination of animosity amidst the Ack/Doc vs. Dutchiee/Linda FEUD and a genuine civil war that was the catalyst for the creation of Black Cock.

This was actually the only time that glostlover wasn't bored with the site, and she proved herself to be quite the stand-up comedian!

RPG
The straw that broke the camel's back, the RPG officially sent Dutchiee to the Loony Bin.

It all began when St. Douchebag had the bright idea to make a ... UNDER CONSTRUCTION

Creation of Black Rock
Black Cock happened when ShokoLove joined the forum one sunny winter afternoon. Unfortunately a local retard and KKK member was around, and made some racial slur in a redneck drawl. ShokoLove responded by: not getting offended. But then some smug asshole took offence so ShokoLove whipped out his black snake and duelled with ack's burning cross throughout the night. Eventually, his black cock had taken a burning, and suffered many splinters, but all good Christian children must eventually perish and ack was smited just like it was SNAKES ON A PLANE.

Black Rock, on the other hand, was created shortly after the culmination of the WAR. MrDutchiee became weary of all the unhappy vibes of FI, so he founded a place of popcorn, Dr. Pepper, gumdrops, and lollipops. It was a magical land free from the vile stench of Ackermaniv, DoctorYoda, Paulus, Russ, Zuko, and others. That was until Paulus gatecrashed and CANDYLAND WAS TAINTED (with taint) FROM THAT DAY FORWARD. Soon after, EVERYBODY from Taboo to Ack and their mothers were spying on BR and they didn't even know it, lol. They just went on posting obliviously with much Dr. Pepper and popcorn consumption to be had, until they finally figured out that Black Rock was a brainless pile of shit and they came crawling back to FI.

BBPE
FUCKING RIG

Creation of the Wiki
The FI wiki is a testament to its own FAIL. It was created by Zuko412 on March 28, 2008 and in basically 24 hours it had more content than any other Invisionfree wiki. Clearly, the members have too much time on their hands. Except Dutchiee. He has too many dicks in his hands.

Zeta conversion
looooool nvmnd

Lostifyed and World War I
Once upon the time on the internets, there lived a strange hermit man named Lostifyed. Also known (to himself) as "The Wordweaver", he maintained a crazy but boring evangelical Christian site dedicated to telling people they will burn in hell for eternity, on which he wrote long tractates on obvious shit any God-fearing doctrinaire would be aware of without him. His main topics for discussion included himself, how much he hates Christians even though he is one, how much he hates homosexuals, and how the Holocaust didn't really happen and is an international Zionist conspiracy. Perhaps for these reasons, the Turdweaver was not the most popular guy at the global block party that is the internet. This is evidenced by the fact that no one gives a shit about what some old jumped-up fundamentalist has to say about anything, especially when he looks and writes like the retarded love child of Santa Claus, Jesus, Tom Friendly and Blackbeard the Pirate. Perhaps most creepily, the "kids corner" on his website, which purports to be written by a teenage schoolgirl, is obviously written by him.

Lostifyed came to the attention of FI some time in early 2008. Zuko, having unilaterally taken up the mantle of FI's head recruiter, returned to tv.com with a pocket full of joak candy, in some misguided attempt to lure some of the windowlickers to FI where they could become part of the community be made fun of then banned. But to Zuko's surprise, the tv.com Lost board had been overrun by the lengthy and verbose posts of a new user named Lostifyed. The guy had taken the time to type out a whole bunch of shit that is already widely known to any fan of the show (and in greater detail on fan sites like Lostpedia) and asked all the most obvious questions that everyone else was already asking. His own theories had already been proposed to death, but that didn't stop him once amore crucifying the "Christian Shepherd is not dead!" shtick.



It all began with FI collectively laughing at this sad sap and logging onto tv.com to jeer and mock him. What FI didn't count on, however, was Lostifyed following the prominent sig-links to FI and attemtping to post under the cover of r0gue retard.

so like hi d00ds was Lostifyed's first foray into the FI wilderness, a hub of sinfulness and heresy as he later came to characterise the site. Before long, Lostifyed had begun to lord his bigotry and Bible trivia over everyone else, leading to a universal hatred which has gone unparalleled before or since. Lostifyed set up his own site (The Grand Order of the Jacobean Knights, or GOOTJK for short ... catchy!) which was supposed to be some kind of rival to FI and tv.com. What he didn't realise was that the only reason he was getting suspended from tv.com was that FI were reporting him to danmod etc.

FI, of course, broke onto the douchebag's site and flooded it full of shit. Lostifyed responded by changing the URL for his Lost board, making sure he only gave it to those on tv.com who he knew he could trust. These were the people on his 'white shoe' list or some stupid shit like that, which is just embarassing for a man of his age to be involved in.

Of course, FI always has a plan, and most of those who Lostifyed was sure he could trust were in fact FI moles who had set up accounts on tv.com before all this really kicked off. Pretending to be gay and/or Jewish, Lostifyed's new recruits began posting on his board. The forum was a pile of shit. It was 90% Lostifyed posts, and 0% funny. "The Black Smoke Monster: How I Stopped Smoking"? Oh, LOL!

We waited a few days, came up with intricate battle plans, then decided fuck it we'll just spam the shit out of his board. The moles provided the URL to FI and everyone stormed in while he was away, posting heretic and hilarious images and text all over his shitty, shitty forums. The greatest thing about all this is that EVERYONE took part, through a universal despisement of Turdbeaver. FI was united like never before or since; even usually pacifistic users (e.g. they have lives outside the internet) such as richlost, Tina, Leah and davidtoms took part. Lostifyed was as hated as much - perhaps more - by the FI Christian contingent as by the rest. Owned into oblivion, Lostifyed decreed that FI are devil worshippers, changed the URL again and sank into obscurity. He has not been seen since, though his 'end time prophecy' site is still there and it's still a bunch of shit.

WUOTES:

"fu dOOd" - MrDutchiee, kicking off the war

"with such heart-warming feedback, i can truly understand y this board only has a few 100 members at best" - Lostifyed, whose decades-old evangelical board has only 40 registered members

"i think it's a bit childish 2 go 2 another board just 2 purposely disrupt it by baiting that user there. can't remember their name now. losti sumthing or other. even i wouldn't go that far." - Lostifyed, while going to FI just to purposely disrupt it and bait people

"this person is just too crazy" - robman's cutting analysis

"Please, Leah; you're not my type" - Lostifyed in the shower room

"what I am suggesting is that the number of victims has been greatly exaggerated by the Jews, and/or by their puppets, in order to use this piece of information to their own advantage." - Lostifyed explaining why no one likes him

"Contrary to what some people may possibly be led to believe, the WordWeaver is a man of scant education." - Lostifyed, writing about himself in third person and allowing a brief glipse into his fail. But in his usual self-worshipping manner he quickly fashions this into a virtue: " the WordWeaver believes that his lack of worldly education serves as a testimony to the Power of God's Spirit working in a person's life." Who cares?

Ack's Departure: Part 1 & 2
Once upon a time, ack revealed to the forum that he actually likes drinking Mike's Hard Lemonade. Russ and paco set about on a vitriolic campaign of lulz against him and his poof drinks. After one particularly snide remark in the c-box, ack banned Milpool, who then long con'd Paulus into giving him temporary admin CP. Milpool set about immediately, permanently and lulzily deleting ackerman's account. Other board members didn't find it so lulzy however and Russ was slightly reprimanded. Moments later, everyone remembered that ack is basically a fagtard anyway and decided to take Russ's side even though he was clearly in the wrong.

Quote: Oh boo-fucking-hoo. Emo kid got his PRECIOUS POST COUNT erased.

Rinse, wash, long con, repeat.

EPIC RAEP of WPA


Approximately yesterday, the good denizens of FI grew tired with their infrequent trolling of WPA for mere minutes at a time before inevitable ban, and Anonypaul decided to share the link with the respectable people at /b/. At first no one cared for his thread and it was met with a typically negative reaction about Anonymous not being your personal army etc. However, Anonymous then began to try WPA for themselves and saw that it was epic lulz. Soon WPA's chatbox was FLOODED with Anonymous who signed on with names such as Ann Us, Muhd Cips, Joseph Fritzl, Jack Candle, etc. Anonymous continued to cause hilarious trouble, stalled only by the inevitable IP bans that were easily circumnavigated by /b/tards trolls. All this was too much for poor Rhonda to deal with on her own, and resulted in the monitors calling Dr Jeffrey Lant himself. Anonymous, FI tips its hat to you.


 * Sea-Bocks wuotes:

Paulus2: I can't watch a MAN SNAP LIVE ...

russ_who_ross: i have the troll's remorse

russ_who_ross: but i also have the troll's-still-finding-this-hilarious


 * WPA wuotes

Anonymous: Rhonda, how do I view you in fullscreen so I can whack off to you?

Batman bin Suparman: lol i'm TWO superheroes

Rhonda Fletcher MCEC: ''I think these kids need ... someone to make them some cookies and milk ... so they go somewhere else.''

PLZ ADD MOAR IF U CAN AND IF U REMEMBER ANY MOAR BUT IF U DON'T ITS OK DNT WORRY :-)

FI Elections
One day, MOS and Dock decided they needed help after Paul stepped down, and started an election to find the new mod of FI. The candidates were, Simplton, Ack, Mal, ff, Joey, Curtis, rich, kgp, bsrj and zuko. Ack made banners insulting everyone while Dutchiee's erection grew larger at the thought of Joey winning.

Quote Dutchiee: JOEY 4 MOD!!!!!

Surprisingly, Brian MOS'd it up, and failed to come through with any of his promised debates. The whole election then became just a series of polls.

Rich was eliminated and tried to convince everyone to not vote...no1 listened. In an interesting strategic move, ack quit.

Curtis won every poll and beat Mal in the finals. Since MOS was gone, Curtis was made admin and is now yellow

HAM Deletion
HAM is was a LOST fan site created by FI nub Joey. The site was essentially a carbon copy of FI itself (HAM: The Series anyone?). One day, Joey decided to start an RPG on HAM and set out looking for tv.com nubs to play with him. He found a small group, consisting of Slick, Haggis, charliepace, and efc. These four then heard about FI through HAM and decided to join there as well. Not before long, they began advertising the HAM RPG and tried to get everyone to join, much to the annoyance of all of FI. Slick cbox spammed the RPG link over and over, resulting in FI spamming its own cbox and blaming it all on slick, to which he replied "bsrj put a cookie on me." Lulz ensued.

FI was so fed up that it did what it does best, declared war. A forum was made and was hidden from Joey and the other HAM'ies. A handful of FI members joined HAM as themselves in order to put war plans into motion. However, Ack, undercover as Mal, started a character competition and asked to be a forum mod in order to run it. HAM being HAM didn't realize that forum mods were actually set as global mods. Once ack got his powers, he, Curtis, and Doc deleted every single thread on HAM (including their much loved RPG). It was epic.

During the HAM deletion fallout, the site was in rage and blamed most of the destruction on Mal (who had nothing to do with it). All HAM'ies left FI for good (except Joey) and cursed its existence.

WUOTE Vanessa (lol who?): Yeah those people at FI have issues.

HAM is now a desolate wasteland. Victory!

Skype syndication
In an attempt to get to know his fellow FIans better, on the day of March 28, 2009, Citizen John got Paulus, Curtis and DocYoda to talk to him on Skype, which resulted in mild hilarity and continuous reeling of FI memes in spoken form. Pretty soon, the conference grew into something larger when characters such as Bri-guy, sunlust, Mal, ff_zero, Michael Buko and FI-newcomer leaffan joined in. Following is a brief summary of a typical conversation heard in said conference:

leaffan: SO WUT ABOOT VIR-

Buttez: *CRUNCH, CRUNCH, BLOOP*

Curtis: *#$&URHJIFUISOJFEIOJSJFIOWEHJOI*

leaffan: -TUAL SEASON 6?

Buttez: PAUL..

Paul: jon..

Buttez: Brian

MOS: What?

Buttez: How was it meeting Dal Ackerman?

MOS: It was a rich sexual experience

-awkward silence-

Dock: Nice one Brian!

MOS: I hate you Doc.

Curtis: *9SD*(FSD)(FHSDF*^(*)&S^D*(F^SDFKLSHFIUOSHFHDSF*

leaffan: you're going to have to size me up while I smoke some buko

MOS: *lame joak*

-awkward silence-

MOS: Oh I do say I just cannot formulate jokes tonight!

Paul: you never can

MOS: What?

Curtis: So guys

Buttez: Yes, Doc?

Dock: What?

Curtis: What?

Buttez: does the hin browse an u shit

Paul: what?

Curtis: *s9d8)FYSDF*&)WEYRIUGHWGEPIURHGDSPF&*(^)*&^&*W#%*&)DFGIUSDOFUHGOSDF*&E(R^*&(%W*EW%RB*

ff:

Paul: Let's be rational here...

^ this all may have been LAME mostly thanks to the presence of MOS. But as soon as Zuko joined in - despite only typing, not even talking - it became clear that Skype is a goldmine of hilarity and for all intents and purposes, the c-box on crack. Joining up today is mandatory, FI conferences are routinely lulz.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009: Zuko gets mic'd up
On this fateful day, Zuko broke and irreversibly changed the rules on Skype.





FI Calls Durtis
lol

The Ages of FI
Here is a rough timetable of FI's evolution.

Prehistory

FI began of course, as an offshoot of tv.com. Many people were disgruntled and angry about tv.com's repressive moderation policies. More and more of the good users got banned, while stupid noobs were free to spam all they liked. Something had to be done. A solution had to be found. That's when one plucky young boy named Paulus decided to create his own website; a place where free thought, genuine Lost discussion, and unrestricted lulz could be shared by all. This place was to be FI.

The First Age of FI (a.k.a. The Dark Ages)

In the beginning, the site had only four or five members. However, DoctorYoda soon embarked on the campaign trail, PM'ing decent members from tv.com en masse and convincing them to come here instead. Before long, nubs were pouring into FI by the dozens, usually beginning with the question "IS DIS YODER'S SITE LOL." Most of these nubs did not stand the test of time; but many of them did and remain long-standing regulars to this day.The first age of FI can be characterised by gumdrops and rainbows. Everyone would post unnecessary smiley faces after each sentence. They would joke about Dr. Pepper and have WUB WARZ. Everyone was very polite and caring about each other. It was all very lame. But underneath the surface lurked trouble. The seeds were sewn very early on for conflict between two of the site's most powerful users: founder Paulus, and newly appointed admin Dutchiee. So while some users remained completely oblivious to what was happening, a cold war was beginning to heat up beneath the surface.

The Second Age of FI (a.k.a. the Early Modern Ages)

The second age of FI exploded onto our computer screens with two dramatic events that changed the website forever. Firstly, gbvfan went batshit insane and attacked all of FI without provocation in the utterly hilarious Further Instructions: READ thread. This had the effect of changing the way people on FI relate to each other and to how we look at joaks. Indeed, the joak as an art form only began to flourish following gbv's mental breakdown.Secondly, the Paul and Dutchiee war quickly came into full swing under the guise of a joak war. But this was no joak war; this was the real FI civil war that tore the site in two. Dutchiee and his followers exiled to Black Rock, which aimed to recreate the shitty early conditions of the first age of FI. Paulus however managed to destroy Dutchiee's base, and Dutchiee and his followers crawled back to FI, where they remained in tense relations with the powers that be. Dutchiee, of course, lost his adminship. But a replacement was not hard to find. Being emo and an easy target, MOS ran off crying from the website, but was brought back by Paul in exchange for an admin position. MOS also pays for the c-box, lol.

The Third Age of FI (a.k.a. the Modern Ages)

Two cataclysmic events represented the shift into the modern ages of FI. Firstly, the Lostifyed war, a.k.a. World War 1, was a massive success and involved the participation of nearly the whole site. In effect, this war united the sections of the site that had become divided in the civil war. Never had FI prospered so much. Secondly, bsrj posted a picture of his face. The joak, as an art form, was thrust into a whole new paradigm of lulz.Other, smaller causes led us into the third age, such as the hacking of MOS's life. It was clear, by this stage, that as far as joaks are concerned, ANYTHING GOES. The success against GOOTJK was repeated at HAM. Early on in this age, Paulus turned the frozen honkey wheel and permanently renounced his adminship. The site was left in the questionably capable hands of MOS and DoctorYoda. Upon winning a mod election, Curtis was also made admin, and to shut him up, so was Roos. By this point, any smily faces were used purely sarcastically, having long been replaced by the more hostile/ambiguous emoticons: garyface, penguin, pirate, Locke, bsrjface and Mr. T.

The Fourth and Final Age of FI (a.k.a. the Post-Modern Ages)

Launched facefirst into a new age with a cataclysmic purge, FI slowly began to die. Users fell quickly: Paulus, LIS/KGP, Dutchiee, krk, MOS and CRTMN. These are now the names of FI Christmas Past. Between this point and the end date of Lost, it is predicted that FI will gradually lose more and more members, fizzling out until its eventual abandonment. Also in this age, Skype was lulz, ff_zero was made admin after winning the apprentice, and MOS finally left the forum! This all happened because FI:TS ended.

Update: a couple hours after the above was written, krk visited and Paul and LIS returned to the forum. More members have slowly been returning since then. Maybe not all hope is lost!

Summary
For those too lazy to read any of the above, here's a PLOT SUMMARY:

FI: WUB WUB  SUNSHINE LOLLIPOPS, RAINBOWS EVERYTHING DE DA DA....

ACK: Hey I finally managed to get this site working miss my fags what is this shit lol all of you are fucking retarded die in a fire of my gastric juices coated in the sperm of my seething rage *kicks child*

FI: uh....hai...ack....lol

ACK: HEY DIPSHIT TAKE A PICKTOOR IT WILL LAST LONGER

ACK: BTW I'm Ben lol

GBV: NNNNGRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH NOBODY WILL LAUGH AT THE NAME BEN THOUSAND

PORL: It's a very funny name lol...

GBV: STOP ARGUING ABOUT LOST!

Porl: say wot?

GBV: GETT OFF YOUR CHINK HIGH HORSE TICKLE MONSTER FUCK NO!!!!!

dutchiee: LOOK WHAT YOU DID ACK, AND YOU DIDN'T TAKE THE RPG SRSLY

Doc: lol fu dutchiee calm down

dutchiee: DON'T TELL ME WHAT I CAN'T DO *abstains from FI*

dutchiee: BTW taboo my site is located here lol -&gt;&gt; LINK TO BLACK ROCK

Taboo: Oh hai porl why aren't you at -&gt;&gt; LINK TO BLACK ROCK

Lol

Porl: *INSERT BULLSHIT ABOUT PROSPERITY AND LIVE TOGETHA DIE ALONE*

BR: SUNSHINE LOLLI

CRTMN: POPS AND RAINBOWS EVERYTHINK lalalalala

Porl: CRTMN U CAN HAS BE MOD LOL

CRTMN: o thx lol AND POPCORN DR PEPPERRRRR

Doc: You're a fag CRTMN

CRTMN:....yeah I am lol *JOINS THE MAJORITY*

Dutchiee: WE CAN MAKE DIS WORK GUYS

FGG: YES LET US MAKE THIS WORK

tribalchic: you need to get laid

FGG: BAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

(note the above three lines ACTUALLY HAPPENED)

FGG: OK I HAVE GOTTEN OVER IT LET US BE LESS MEAN NEXT TIME OK

all of BR except Linder, dutchiee, FGG and SUCRE-FAN: ...cbf

Dutchiee: FINE LEAVE, I AM FI

FI: lol welcum bak

Dutchiee: I have cum bak as well i am unaffected by the recent tun of evant dat has wot fukn da fuk fuk a kunt gehy

Porl: lol kewl

MOS: I MIGHT LEAVE OCCASIONALLY

Porl: No you can be admin BTW pay for a domain and this cbox

MOS: YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND!

FGG: I have decided to come back

Joey: lol here is a ham

PORL: what is it for?

Joey: Lol it are for british.

Porl: oh okay. You know FI is fully equipped so that all viewers needn't worry about future plotlines being leaked. We're actually going to great lengths to ensure the integrity of this

Joey: dis is just in case lol I want to be sure i am not just power mad and wanting my own forum

Porl: Well okay then!

Joey: HAM IS NOW A SITE FOR US LOST TOO WE JOINED FORCES WITH SOME GHEY SITE THEY ARE KEWL

FI:

-TIME PASSES-

FGG: SO DAT HEROES IS GUD

Porl: Here is member forums you can make a Heroes one

FGG: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY *eats popcorn*

EVERYBODY EVER: Heroes is the worst show ever I swear to god

FGG: GUYS THIS IS FOR POSITIVE OPINIONS ONLY

EVERYBODY EVER: YOUR FACE is for positive opinions only

FGG: BAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW *deletes heroes board*

-NOT LONG AFTER-

FGG: hai my name is russianlove yoder is a kyke big nose jew faggot face illegal chink

russ: LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

RUSSIANLOVE: FU YODER *EDIT* is cool

russ: LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

RussianLove: *EDIT*

KLUGH: i am sorry guys let us be friends now I will leave forever.

-SOMETIME LATER on TV.cOM-

Ohohohoho I am Lostifyed, the new messiah. I dislike homosexuals, believe the Earth is 3000 years old and like pointing out obvious facts about Lost in verbose posts. I do this several hundred times a day.

FI: Lol you suck

Lostifyed (ON FI): You are all horrible sinners I am a much more moral person than you all are. Now go and be ashamed of yourselves. I am great.

-one month later cut to a shot of Lostifyed in the middle of the DESERT with a JACOBEAN Knights sign rocking back and forth-

Lol dat shoed him.

-LATER-

HAM: Hello I am from HAM we have an RPG blah blah blah RPG I will RPG your RPG if you RPG

Porl: lol...

HAM: INCLUDE ME IN EVERYTHING EVER I ONLY JUST JOINED

Porl: will do...

HAM: NOW RPG THE RPG RPG HAM IS AWESOME

Porl: lol....

HAM: HAM is so much better than this site RPG RPG LA LA FAGGOT FACE RPG

FI:

-presses the HAM NUKE button-

Haggis: Well I get more sex and money than any of you losers I am great

FI:

-HAGGIS PIC-

ALL THE WHILE THE ABOVE IS HAPPENING:

Taboo: I am SGG *BANNED*

Ethan: I am lord taboo *BANNED*

I am genuine ne- *BANNED*

WILL YOU STOP B - *BANNED*

I WANT TO B - *BANNED*

- *BANNED*

I WILL HAVE MY VENGEANCE - *BANNED*

YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THE LAST OF LORD TABOO - *BANNED*

Nicolas Cage: want me to deal with this?

Yoder: Yes plz nick cage

NICK CAGE: *CATCH 22 is LOL*

ANYTIME YODER, ANYTIME.

Roos: WTF IS DIS why is HENRY UP FOR ELITE ELECTION NO FUKN WAY I OWN THIS SITE + WE DO AS I SAY

Yoda: lol here's a joak: Henry is more of an elite than u

Roos:

Roos ---&gt; henry43: ROFLCOPTERZZZZ XD !!!!!! LATER FAGGOTZ x10000000

henry42: lol

Everyone: ROOS HENRY DOES NOT TALK LIKE THIS ANY MORE THAT IS WHY HE IS NOW UP FOR ELECTION

henry43: HELICOPTERZZZZZZZZZZ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Staff: *de-admins Roos*

Paul: I grow tired of dis *c-box ban henry43*

henry43: lol but I already changed the password, which btw is dis ...

-Everyone ever logs into c-box CP-

bsrj: lol wat does dis big red button do

Everyone: DON'T DO IT BSRJ

bsrj: lol *pushes button*

OBLIVION

Roos: LOL sry guys ...

bsrj: lol rly sry guys, you guys are da best ppl in ma life plz dont ban me WAAAAAAHHHHHH

CRTMN: WE CAN NEVAR let Russ be admin or mod EVER AGAIN

Roos: If I make a gun, and shoot you in the face, is it still my face?

CRTMN: That's the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard. Welcome back to the team.

Roos MOS: lol guys I've decided to step down and let roos take my place as admin

Doc: lol ok

MOS: WAAAAAAAT I AM NOT YOUR TOY I AM NOT HERE FOR FI'S ENJOYMENT FU ALL FU FI

FI: lol yes you are MICKY MOUS

Ribs: Hi everyone I am new :)

MOS: Oh yes. Oh yes, I know all about YOU.

Ribs: :/

FI: MOS YOU CREEPY STALKER UN-ADMIN'D

MOS: *erases self from FI history*

FI: (:

The Fabulous Claudia Jammson: Oh hai guys I am new member who is dis Brian fellow he sounds like a faggot!

FI:

Roos: lol wut if the island yada yada yada?

Bsrj: DUMB RETARD

Roos: FI=TV.COM ... kasdjfkJWERRKRRRRKJSLKSFdkjfakjae x 100

Curtis: lol ban't

Roos: DOCK PLZ IP BAN ME I CANNOT CONTROL MYSELF

Doc: kk

Zuko The Parrot: DOCK PLZ IP BAN ME I CANNOT CONTROL MYSELF

Doc: lol whatever *bans*

Simplton: SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER

FI: BAN BAN BAN

Citizen: HERE ARE ALL MY FRIENDS

Citizen Firends: We are new and Krazy!!!!!1

FI:

Roos: I am be admin again it's too boring without me

PURGE. FI members fall, one by one, swallowed up by the internets. FI slowly begins to die.

-mere hours after Roos wrote the above and raped the wiki (lol srsly russ, the new arrangement sucks)-

krk: Hey guys whats going on

Paul: ohai I'm back

LIS: ohai I'm back

-on Skype-

Russ: *plays music and disconnects citizen*

Citizen: ODISFHOISDFHOSDFH FUCK YOU

Russ: looool

-flash forward a few weeks, on FI-

Citizen: haha so I ordered these bootlegged 24 box sets but instead got a fucking Aubrey cardboard, can you believe it?

FI: heh

Citizen: btw I'm going to report FI, oh and here are pictures of several penii. please ban me i suddenly hate you FI

FI: lol k

Brian Peppers Roos: Let us play a game

ff_zero: Looks like I win

Roos: ff_zero is our new mod!

You really can't get it all in there. This is without WPA, gbv's many comebacks etc.

=Memes=

In FI's history, many memes (or inside jokes) have been created. All memes must first be approved by the Meme Keeper and later on, killed by LIS.

Dead Memes
Because memes are so LULZY, every member upon discovering one does their best to repeat it over and over again. This is a brilliant plan as surely if you keep saying the same joke repeatedly it naturally gets better.

However joak physics intervene and as a result, memes die. There are three known causes of death for a meme:

1.) Repeat usage: People use it so many times that it actually becomes the anti-funnee. At this stage using the meme is on a par to Hiroshima.

2.) LIS: It is a known fact that LIS has rare genetic makeup that means any meme he comes in contact with withers and dies on the spot. Since this discovery memes have gone into hiding lest they be discovered by the infamous joak-killer.

3.) MOS: See above. Except that in his case replace memes with everything ever.

geraldpringle
Once upon a time, a normal user with a funny name joined FI. Swoonlust capitalised on this name by making a joak and so everybody from 10,000 miles around all started laughing and bowing fearfully.


 * WUOTE: "MrDutchiee? more like geraldpringle" - buncrust

Some people were unsatisfied with the myth or legend and so a search and recovery operation spanned the internets in desperation to find the man behind the fail. As a result they eventually discovered he was just some guy no1 carez about. Though the meme lived on until it was kill'd, it occasionally resurfaces but like most kill'd memes it can never be brought back from the grave.

geraldpringle has shown signs of angst. It is thus believed he may be emo.

Mundai
Mundai was given as the date MOS would actually do shit. MOS never does shit and so it was reasoned Mundai was in fact the FI apocalypse..the day where everything ever would actually take place.

However Mundai is the quintessential example of a dead meme. A mere week after it's hilarious concoction, LIS set about vanquishing it with his dual blades of overkill and ~lame~. As a result Mundai was banished to the wastelands of the internet where it forever haunts the planes of the eternally retarded.

I dont understanf
One day, Joey made a hilarious post, saying he didn't understanf. A few days later, Ack and Curtis overused it in an episode of the SHIT FANFIC. Joey then said it outside of the fanfic and it died forever.


 * WUOTE: "I dont understanf" - JoeLostDrama

Mal memes
Mal memes are a rare breed. They all share one unique characteristic, and that's that they die upon birth. However, due to Mal's necrophiliac tendencies, he often times re-animates these corpses of memes for his own sick pleasure. No one laughs.

Example of a typical conversation with Mal:

DoctorYoda: lol

russ_who_ross: lol

Mal: Yellow

DoctorYoda: ... hai.

Mal: Holy Magikarp!

russ_who_ross: wut?

Mal: It's Ion! Ion's here! Nooooo!

Ion: Shut up dude. Just go away Mal.

russ_who_ross:

Mal: Not a chance, you faker.

DoctorYoda:

sunIust: looool.. i'll take care of this..

Linder: Hey Sun.

sunIust: looool.. hai Linda.. *beats Ion down with a TIRE IRON*

Linder: DAMMIT MAL.

Ion: Nooo! You've defeated me!

Mal: ... in lie land.

russ_who_ross: wow. this conversation just went to shit.

Mal: Fare enough,

Mal: Now you can ride the bus.

DoctorYoda: sigh.

Mal: Just a little moar, Ivysaur!

Mal: Get it? Ivysaur rhymes with moar. Get it?

DoctorYoda: We get it

russ_who_ross: i'm leaving. bye.

DoctorYoda: yeah... me too...

Mal: ...The silence means it's working.

Undead Memes
Some memes can never die. They are just too funny. In their case being used loads may even make them funnier.

Lol wut?
This is actually a 4chan meme, but Paulus snuck it in pretending it was his own work because he lacks a funee-bone. Eventually the truth came out, but the pear remained funny and so still gets usage today. It is a fact that 90% of the board's posts are "lol wut".

Hey guys whats going on
Hey guys whats going on

http://i117.photobucket.com/albums/o76/3231983/delete.jpg

Hey guys whats going on

http://i189.photobucket.com/albums/z281/i4-/deletecopy.png

Hey guys whats going on

http://i203.photobucket.com/albums/aa227/CRTMN0463/Santa.jpg

Hey guys whats going on

http://i211.photobucket.com/albums/bb311/ackerman_22/bsjr.jpg

Hey guys whats going on

http://img210.imageshack.us/img210/3700/creepyrockmj5.png

Hey guys whats going on

http://img413.imageshack.us/img413/4937/zukoll4.png

Hey guys whats going on

http://i290.photobucket.com/albums/ll257/COTVimages/Heyguyswhatsgoingon.jpg

Hey guys whats going on

http://img44.imageshack.us/img44/1872/heyribs.jpg

Hey guys whats going on

PROTIP: There are a million variations of this phrase all of which are not funny. Examples include "wuts going on". The only correct way to say this is "Hey guys whats going on" with no punctuation or grammar.

Vincent
Vincent

Bsrj face
The utter hilarity of this meme is endless.


 * bsrj's going to the SHOPS

http://i293.photobucket.com/albums/mm50/fitheseries/bsrjsmall.jpg


 * bsrj's going to the ZOO

http://img218.imageshack.us/img218/443/bsrjpm2.png


 * bsrj's going to the TOILET

http://i293.photobucket.com/albums/mm50/fitheseries/bsrj.jpg


 * Flea market bsrj

http://i290.photobucket.com/albums/ll257/COTVimages/flea_market_montgomery.gif


 * Hey guys whats going on bsrj

http://i211.photobucket.com/albums/bb311/ackerman_22/bsjr.jpg


 * Dancing bsrj

http://i290.photobucket.com/albums/ll257/COTVimages/bsrjdance.gif


 * PBsrJ

http://i290.photobucket.com/albums/ll257/COTVimages/pbrj.gif


 * Muslim bsrj

http://i293.photobucket.com/albums/mm50/fitheseries/allah22.jpg


 * Cho Aniki bsrj

http://i290.photobucket.com/albums/ll257/COTVimages/bsrj2.gif


 * Paulus bsrj

http://i293.photobucket.com/albums/mm50/fitheseries/LOLBSRJ.jpg


 * Batman bsrj

http://img68.imageshack.us/img68/9388/batsrjpn0.png


 * Joaker bsrj

http://img234.imageshack.us/img234/8227/bsrscp8.png


 * Two-face bsrj

http://img243.imageshack.us/img243/5686/bsrtfuw6.png


 * Dope friend bsrj

http://img201.imageshack.us/img201/2480/dopefriendsa8.jpg


 * Krazy eyes bsrj

http://img296.imageshack.us/img296/3058/creepybsrjix6.png


 * Bsrj wubs hats

http://i293.photobucket.com/albums/mm50/fitheseries/BSRJHATS-1.jpg


 * bsrh

http://i293.photobucket.com/albums/mm50/fitheseries/bsrh.jpg


 * Pirate bsrj

http://i293.photobucket.com/albums/mm50/fitheseries/bsrp.png


 * bsrj-mobile

http://i218.photobucket.com/albums/cc218/Bunderboss/bsrjmobile.gif


 * bsrj on an afternoon stroll

http://i290.photobucket.com/albums/ll257/COTVimages/5trytr5.gif

WPA
WPA is srs bzns. Just ask Goran Edstrom.



Dr. Jeffrey Lant


The god of WPA. That's why EVERY morning, he's up early, and addresses the world with his daily webcasts which enlighten the world with his sheer brilliance and excellency.

TRIVIA: "Lant" actually means "aged urine", but don't tell him that or you'll be BEFFREY BAN'T for HERESY by one of his followers, lol.

WUOTE: "I've been blessed in my life. No question about it. But, as Browning said, 'the best is yet to come.' That's why EVERY morning, I'm up early, ready to dig into my email and see who I can help today. The Internet seems to me to be what I was waiting for my entire life, right from the day, over a half-century ago, when I published my first article. Thanks to Worldprofit Inc. and the Internet, I am in constant touch with ever expanding numbers of people worldwide who want to profit from this amazing medium, just as I have done. I'm standing by RIGHT NOW to help you."

Kensal
Kensal, North Dakota is a small undiscovered hick town which no1 carez about. One of the strangest FI memes to exist today, it is pretty timeless as the relative obscurity of the place as well as the total lack of anything ever is a source of instant lulz.

It was first discovered on a google stalk for our good friends Curtis Page. What resulted was a website about Kensal school. So poorly written and pointless was this website that even ZUKO could've done a better job at completing it. New Curtis was listed with photos aged 4 and 18. During this time he became a fucking FATASS. Lulz ensued when Curtis discovered one of his very own facebook friends was called Curtis Page and was actually the same guy. He was dubbed Durtis and is something of an FI icon.

School
Other interesting features of the website were a box to tick if you like pepperoni pizza, moving taz, partying smilies and streams and streams of badly typed text as well as horrendously ugly inbred children. Unfortunately the website was taken down and replaced with a shittier less lulzy but also totally incomplete website located here:

http://www.kensalschool.org/dashboard

Some of the other Kensal offspring were discovered on Facebook and are somewhat less lulzy but still amusing. Children at the school are strictly forbidden from wearing clothing that may contain offensive text such as "Joe Kool Camel". The school has a regularly scheduled shootout every year. It is predicted this year's hitman will be our very own Durtis Page. Best of luck you flabby heros.

Town
The town is totally deserted. It has a number of interesting locations all documented on the website here:

http://www.kensalnd.com/

The Elevator is the most interesting of Kensal locations. Who can say what goes on inside? It is similar to the hatch in Lost and experts believe it was the source of the Kensal Incident of 1949 which saw the destruction of the first school and most of the population: http://www.kensalnd.com/Bucephalia3.htm

There is also the Wolf Den bar and the Shop which is manned by the parents of our very own hero Durtis. More on the town can be seen here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kensal,_North_Dakota It is worth noting that the racial makeup of the city is 100% white and that there are currently 161 residents across 68 households. Satellite footage seems to indicate much less which begs the question of where the other houses went. They seem to have been lost in the Incident.

In 2010 the town is having a reunion. It would be rude of FI to not show up and wish their friends well.

Facts
During the day Kensal, North Dakota is your normal American settlement, but after the sun has set you may distinguish some frightening things. Dark time is living dead time around here. A number of locals argue there are no phantoms, but everybody who has a home in Kensal is not alive.

These are some of the spooky things that have happened here recently.

The phantom of a young lady with a line around her neck is repeatedly made out hurling pieces of wood into the water at Kelly Creek on a dark night. According to the people who live here, this ghost is that of a local who lived here in Kensal before the present.

A guy without a head can often be perceived trying to conceal a dead body in Dollar Slough very late at night. Either way, it's sure a creepy ghost that you shouldn't go looking for.

The phantom of an elderly gold digger with a large beard and a hook instead of his left hand has now and then been distinguished in a Kensal area supermarket, marching the aisles.

The ghost of an old female gripping a revolver is from time to time perceived taking a rest at the kitchen counter in a Kensal trailer shouting. Lots of people who live here declare this ghost enjoys terrifying foolhardy folks who come trying to find ghosts in Kensal.

The spirit of an aged Indian chief has been said to have been seen on a small number of occasions marching through a mobile home in Kensal.

The ghost of a woman with a bag strapped around her head is regularly perceived mid stream in Kelly Creek going out of control. A number of of the people who live here say this spirit is the spirit of a vacationer that was murdered while traveling through Kensal some time ago.

A massive shrew can frequently be observed on a dark night struggling out of Dollar Slough soaked in dirty water.

A sizeable menacing spirit can be spotted repeatedly resting on a stool in a mobile home in Kensal.

A gargantuan squirrel has every so often been made out slurping blood from a glass underneath a streetlamp in Kensal.

A space man has been said to have been seen on a small number of occasions going through the refrigerator in the kitchen of a Kensal residence in the early morning hours.

a dinosaur
A dinosaur was originally created in about 30 seconds while Roos was trooling deviantArt. It was then posted in the already ridiculous "what's your favourite dinosaur" thread found here. Thus was birthed a new meme and many lulz followed as a dinosaur was combined with already existing internet memes and other shit.

Would-Be-Memes
Some inside jokes have fallen short of meme status. They are equally as hilarious, but never attained the level of attention as a full-blown meme. Sometimes this is for the best, however.

Paulus' sister
I'll tell you about this would-be-meme as soon as Paulus is done fucking her in the ass. Don't hold your breath.

Johnny the Elephant
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v611/Paulus2/johnny2.gif

Some krazy elephant that Paco claims to see while in his drunken state, which is 24/7.

Count Chocula
Count Chocula was an attempted meme that was considered funny for about 2 minutes. The meme worked through repetition of the phrase 'Count Chocula' and/or by posting a different picture of Count Chocula. Things reached their climax when the Count Chocula tournament subforum was established, in which Count Choculas went head-to-head in multiple, near-identical polls. Then a Frankenberry was posted and the joak was over as soon as it had begun.In its final dying moments, some slightly creative users invented variations on the joak. Count Dracula, Count Blacula, Count Mackula, Count Duckula, Count Fuckula, Cunt Chocula and for some reason the Cookie Monster were featured briefly. No1 cares.

I am visible like the elf!
Once upon a time DocYoda was trying to connect up an external hard drive but it wasn't working and the only instructions he had were in Wapanese. Milpool babelfish'd the instructions into English and dis was wot we got:


 * WUOTE: My [wa] name is with [chiyaari] 15 occasions. Is to come the [pa] the biting [ya] to be, with be to be there is a [me]. Because I hyper am always, the empty my [yu] maggot am I to come, it is calling, it is to accomplish the [u]!　Also before it is Daniel. Daniel does [netsutoboru] the time. How it goes to the [ji] school with Daniel, is. Tenth being grade, [kuinumarisuhaisukurui] it goes. The school is disliking, but the [be] it is today we like Japanese. We are unskillful for Japanese to release. Liking, to do for [baorino], the empty it is the [be] it is today we like the [ku]. However whether the [ji] [yo] [u] of is at German. Don't you think? the [za] it is, it is, German does the [ji] [yo] [u] and whether of keeps is if in to be, it does not do, if occasion. As for me it cannot go the [te] consequence you wipe not to come. Green [uinetsukusueta] the green skirt comes with the green blouse. I am visible like the elf! At eight o'clock the [tsu] like this it is possible and as for the paragraph oak school eight [ji] five to sufficiently there is no beginning and others. The [ji] [yu] [gi] [yo] [u] nine [ji] from ten o'clock is to three [ji] 40 time. As for me [ba

VERY HELPFUL THANKYOU JAPAN.

SRSNESS and JOAKS
On FI, everyone is always and yet never srs. A typical discourse is as follows:

Dock: CRTMN, that's the stupidest idea ever, srsly.

CRTMN: That hurts, dock. Why would you say such a mean thing? You're such a dick.

Dock: I was only JOAKING. LOL @ you for taking it so SRS.

CRTMN: O yeh well I was JOAKING TOO, LOL @ YOU for taking my srsness so srsly.

Dock: LOL, I knew you were joaking, omg you thought I was being srs when I said you were taking things too srsly.

CRTMN: rofl ... dock, I've been joaking the whole time.

Being srs on the internets is about the biggest FI faux pas EVAR. Because of this, nobody ever knows when anyone is srs or telling a joak. The issue is confused further by the fact that many people use faux-srsness as part of their joaks, such as the epic ack-russ c-box cop ban warz when CRTMN thought they were being srs (lol) when they were actually PM'ing each other laughing about it the entire time.

Even more confusingly, it is becoming even more the norm to pretend to be joaking when actually taking something srs, to avoid the stigma of TAKING THINGS SRSLY. For evidence look to recent MOS posts when his ideas are criticised.


 * WUOTE: "Trying to laugh things off is the new taking things srsly" - buttsex69.

What does the future hold for joaks?

One prediction is that people will soon begin pretending to be srs as part of a joak that is made to cover up their actual srsness. Though it could be that their actual srsness is just part of yet another hilarious joak. etc.

However, there are a
However, there are a couple of things that FI actually DOES take SRSLY. And that's genuine srsly, not faux-srsly for lulz. They are:
 * Pronography. Pronography is not allowed on FI because it could get us all Beffrey Ban't. See also: DAMONa (section coming soon).
 * Spoilers, and sometimes, foilers. Since America is not, as is commonly believed, the EPICENTER (< edited for the incorrect BRIT spelling of "epicentre", BRIT spelling is only used on that small island out in the middle of nowhere, so, it has been corrected to American spelling) of the universe, some people only get the show afterwards. Hence the current episode discussion forum. And also even some Americans (and Mexicans) like to watch the show unspoil'd. Some retards have, in the past, spoil't others and have consequently been bant.
 * Terrorism. THO, 1 MAN'S TERRIST IS ANOTER MANS FREEDUM FITER!!!!!!!!1 Some retards have, in the past, not taken terrorism srsly enough and have consequently been bant.
 * Being a primordial turd that does not belong on FI. We don't exactly have high standards but some retards have, in the past, been primordial turds that do not belong on FI and have consequently been bant.* None of the above things.

Conclusion
Don't take it so srsly. I was only joaking.

Gary


Talk to the face, cause the ... face ain't listening(?)

There are many different types of Gary. They are describes as follows.

Huge Gary
Did you mean: Huge Gay 



Huge Gary is currently the hugest Gary that is recognised by FI. In the past there have been huger Garies, but these got so big that they crashed browsers and fail'd to load properly. Huge Gary serves many purposes such as:
 * If you say something stupid in the c-box, post a Huge Gary so no one sees it
 * Spamming the c-box
 * Getting the attention of an admin or mod
 * (Related to above suggestion) Provoking IslandQueen into a fight
 * Expression of "WTF" at something Zuko or MOS just said (though not as extreme as the Gary column)* Lulz

Huge Winky


Huge Gary + sarcasm

Tiny Gary


Actually larger than regular size Gary, lol, his name is a reference to his size in relation to Huge Gary. Many consider Tiny Gary to be a mild form of blasphemy.

Gary column








Only EVAR to be used in EXCEPTIONAL circumstances of wtf. Like the type of situations where you would ACTUALLY TYPE OUT "WHAT THE FUCK" (in capitals) rather than simply typing "wtf". The Gary column was invented when Zuko asked on the c-box if a baby appearing out of nowhere would be "realistic or not" (lol?)

The Gary row


This is an exceptional fail and should never be used by anyone for any reason. In fact the Gary row may be remedied by a well-placed Gary column, resulting in the Gary grid (see below).

Too many Garies








+

This is considered spam as well as an epic fail. Any more than four garies means you're a fucking idiot and a racist.

Interrupted Gary column






ackermaniv: hey guys wuts goin on



This would be considered a fail, though you would not be held personally responsible. Or maybe you would. Please be considerate of other people Gary column'ing and do not barge into the c-box without first checking.

Gary column'ing without a good reason
NEVAR EVAR EVAR GARY COLUMN UNLESS IT IS AN EXCEPTIONAL "WTF" MOMENT.

The Gary grid








Pointless. Just use a Huge Gary.

The Gary Gary
















Oh god Barbara, hide the kids!

The Gary totem pole
Discovered by fuck_who_toss and MoonofSkiing. Although not in itself a fail per se, it is extremely hard to synchronise on the spot (or at all) and so is 93% likely to result in a fail (for instance, an eight-gary high gary totem pole as you both tried to do Gary columns).

Ex.:
russ_who_ross:

ManOfScience118:

russ_who_ross:

ManOfScience118:

Gary tennis
Evolving out of the Gary totem pole, Gary tennis is played by rapidly posting Garies back and forth on the c-box until someone fucks up. This is harder than it sounds. Copy and pasting Garies is considered RIG and you will be ban't. Our current top rally is five Garies before fail.

russ_who_ross:

ManOfScience118:

russ_who_ross:

ManOfScience118:

russ_who_ross: :\

ManOfScience118: Hahaha

russ_who_ross: FUCK

Fat Gary


Gary was recently discovered by roos and Porl to have a more deceptively wider non-expression than once imagined. Then came the revelation that once every few garies a fukn fatass gary emerges. Hard to notice at first but once you see it you can't unsee it. Fat gary is called agry, because fat people can't type because of their laughably fat fingers hahahaha

In Gary's indulgence he seems to have spread the virus amongst the smiley community. Now every third, fifth or maybe first smiley is a fukn lard-bucket. It is reckoned that the smiley population will become extinct by 2012, just in time for the IRL apocalypse. Hey Gary, eat my burger asshole. And fuck you for not seeing the forest through your FLAB. Fat Gary is the same as a Gary Row. The previous sentence is completely and utterly false, however.

I also discoverd fat gary from zuko

CBF
Not a meme in it's own right but a state of being. FI was once a bustling hub of bright and fresh ideas, happiness and songs around a campfire. These are considered by all sane people to be the dark ages. This was a grave time of awkwardness and much baaaaaaawing.

Thankfully FI evolved beyond the godawful state of it's own being. However the more it changed the more the CBF festered. Like a tumour eating away at the very soul of the forum, FI soon as a hive mind, crawled towards this mentality. Thus the CBF was born. It lingers and it is still growing. Projects lie in waste, threads remain unfinished and long posts get devolved into ...lol!

Such is the way of the CBF and such is the way FI now leads it's life. It is possible that if FI ever shirked the troublesome CBF that it would be the biggest most famous forum on the internet with a wealth of varied discussion and debate but...CBF

WILL FINISH LATER

Zukoverse
Anything Zuko says or does will 95% of the time end up becoming a meme.

ART
http://i293.photobucket.com/albums/mm50/fitheseries/zukosgreatesthits/MEH.jpg

http://i293.photobucket.com/albums/mm50/fitheseries/zukosgreatesthits/a6-2.gif

http://i293.photobucket.com/albums/mm50/fitheseries/zukosgreatesthits/asz.gif

http://i293.photobucket.com/albums/mm50/fitheseries/zukosgreatesthits/b1.gif

http://i293.photobucket.com/albums/mm50/fitheseries/zukosgreatesthits/era.jpg

http://i293.photobucket.com/albums/mm50/fitheseries/zukosgreatesthits/fd.jpg

http://i293.photobucket.com/albums/mm50/fitheseries/zukosgreatesthits/gggfd.gif

http://i293.photobucket.com/albums/mm50/fitheseries/zukosgreatesthits/hus.gif

http://i293.photobucket.com/albums/mm50/fitheseries/zukosgreatesthits/untitled-4.jpg

http://i293.photobucket.com/albums/mm50/fitheseries/zukosgreatesthits/untitltf.jpg

http://i293.photobucket.com/albums/mm50/fitheseries/zukosgreatesthits/a4.jpg

http://i293.photobucket.com/albums/mm50/fitheseries/zukosgreatesthits/a2-3-1.gif

BUOTES
lol there homophobes. http://i293.photobucket.com/albums/mm50/fitheseries/zukosgreatesthits/a1-21.jpg

Tv.com

Linda, I'd sex you into a coma.

So your gay nerd friends will now be mucking up the epic tale of FI?

Im depressed because my sim caught his wife cheating.... http://i290.photobucket.com/albums/ll257/COTVimages/smurf2.gif

Wuts a ZJ?

Why is my pip not a picture?

I fheh



Oh, though, my life is not as flamorous as it may seem

Why, Tuss.

Zuko

I want to be a man about town

hello zuko here

Would anybody describe this as fluid? http://i293.photobucket.com/albums/mm50/fitheseries/zukosgreatesthits/b1-1.gif

Desmond has a barrow in the marketplace

My dik is all LUMPAI now

ngjdl nsdo ; I JUST GOT A BONER

I want a compact turd

Thats why i use flasses

a hamburfer no less

I

Her cheeks are so fucking bif

So I guess I'll just ass you guys to the mix!

Or did he

Fucking, Russ, is the act of penetrating another's bum

I became the anti-hero of FI

Youre just being INTRUSIV

If I go into the past, and give someone a talking elephant that their future selves gave me

I had an internet army at one time. Late 07. bitches left me to join City of Angels forums.

i am such a gay person im a boy and sucked a boys weener before it was awesome so ifu r a boy watch out

Theres an orgasm at the end

If I dont crap now Ill shart later.

What was the approximate length of the fight between Peter and the chicken when there was an Indiana Jones homage

You know, in early 2007, I was a tv.com b-list celebrity

http://i189.photobucket.com/albums/z18/ace412_2007/b1-3.gif Bye, everybody! It wad fun!

This is fay

Duck you

I need a COMPLETE REVISION of the fifth password of my NOVEL

I want to put my penis INTO her

I LAUGH at you doc. I fucking laugh. Because you'll get what's coming to you.

Bonzo

I once tried to download an episode of a show and got a donkey show instead

SO IN MY QUEST FOR PORN TODAY I realized I can't get enough of pakis

Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal Mal

Yeah JEANS

So I fucked this mean-ass bitch last night, right, and she was a whore, you dig? Shit man she was willing to do all kinds of crazy-ass shit but about an hour after I rocked her world (awww yeah) she told me she was filled with STDs from Gonorhhea to HIV to Down's Syndrome. Will keep this updated as time goes on.